Oh, You Wanted Something Permanent? October 26, 2009

I got some comments with my last post that cereal (two FULL bags of cereal that I BOUGHT!) wasn’t really that big of a deal, it wasn’t permanent after all, it could just be vacuumed up (and by “just” here we mean with at least three separate vacuumings.)

And so, for your viewing pleasure, I give you the Sharpie artwork: (All artwork was produced by the Baby.)

Yes, that’s Sharpie on the carpet too. And on the carpet there.

And that’s just the walls (and carpet) there’s also this: this:

and this: And these: And my personal favorite, the hearth:

I just don’t bother to get mad about the Sharpie anymore.

No, I don’t just have markers lying around the house all the time, 90% of the time I can not figure out where he got the marker that he’s using, but if there’s one in the building he’ll find it (last week he found 2 (TWO!) within the first five minutes of being in church.)

P.S. All walls with Sharpie on them were painted within the last year.

While I Was Upstairs Cleaning the Playroom… October 22, 2009

… the Irish Twins were taking care of the living room:

(The fact that the Infantile Delinquent isn’t pictured does not mean he wasn’t involved (it means he was upstairs changing his underwear.))

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Sometimes people joke with me about having more kids.

I don’t really think it’s funny.

Today August 11, 2009

When I left my house this evening to come to work, my kitchen might have looked like this:

And I might have been singing a song that went a little bit like this:  “Hahaha, hehehe, I get to go to work and you have to stay here with the children, tehehe.”

And there might have been some maniacal laughter.

I’m just saying…

Swing Low June 16, 2009

Last week I was good.  I was a good mother, a good wife, a reasonable, put together, capable woman.

This week I’m lucky to get a bra on.

Isn’t it fun being a girl?

_______________________

As I mentioned yesterday, it’s been raining around here for about 3 months straight, and yet for some reason the Princess hasn’t felt like that’s been enough water.  So yesterday she got out the hose and left 4 inches of standing water, mud really, under the swing set.

______________________

How do people who have children (and husbands) sell their houses?  Ours isn’t even officially for sale yet (although I’d be happy to consider any offers) and already I can see that the whole Realtor calling on the way over to the house thing just isn’t going to work.

I have a friend who kept five laundry baskets in her garage.  When the Realtor called she just pulled out the baskets and tossed everything that wasn’t where it went into the baskets.  Then she tossed the baskets into her car with her kids and away they went.  I think that that’s a good idea but in my case it’s just not going to be sufficient.

____

There are people out there who do not have six inches of crap piled on every flat surface.  I know there are, I’ve been in their homes.  Maybe you’re one of them.  What I don’t know is HOW?  How is that possible?

I try, honestly I do.  I’m not afraid to throw things away, I’m not very sentimental and I tend to be pretty pragmatic, I throw away things I know that I might need again, I throw away baby pictures and wedding announcements and … and yet there is a minimum of six inches of crap stacked on each and every horizontal surface in my house. How does this happen?

I don’t know but I’ll tell you what, my next house isn’t going to have any tables, counters or shelves that should solve it. Right?

____

I’m so sick of my house at this point that I’m about ready to just take a match to the whole thing.  (I’m begging those of you  who have lived through house fires to not inform me that burning it down does not actually help.  Did you hear me?  BEGGING.)

______________________

I noticed yesterday that my abs were sore.  I’m not really sick, I just have this tickle at the back of my throat and coughing gets rid of it.  Sometimes.  But I tell you what, by the time I get over this I’m gonna be ripped!

______________________

There used to be a DI five minutes from my house.  It was right across the street from the Home Depot even.  Then they closed it and built a brand new really lovely and very functional replacement.  That’s 20 minutes away.  How is that fair?

_____________________

Is it nap time yet?

Home Again, Home Again Jiggity Jog June 15, 2009

For those of you not in Utah, let me start by explaining that it’s been raining here for the last week and according to the weather app on my iTouch it’s supposed to carry on with that until the end of the week at the earliest.  I can’t even tell you how much I’m loving this weather.  It’s like spring in Virginia, and I’m home again. Ahhh. The grass is green and (at least in the case of my lawn) long and I have little things sprouting all over my flower beds and in the cracks of the sidewalk and I realize that the things I’m listing here don’t sound all that good but really, I love it.  All of it.

I think the first fight Sean and I ever had was over the fact that spring just isn’t spring to me if it’s not green and it’s not green in Utah.

“What do you mean it’s not green, look around (we were driving through the Uintas) it’s totally green.”

I looked around.  There was a greenish cast to the brown, but, well, it wasn’t green.

When I took him to Virginia I think he suddenly understood.

In all honesty, it’s still not Virginia green around here.  But since I can’t get Va, I’ll take it.

Other items of business:

Yes, we are still planning on moving.  Sometime.  The house is still not on the market but I’m really hoping to get it there soon.  Ish.  I’ve had people recommend that we just put it on as it is and we can just carry on with fixing it up while it’s on but I just can’t do it.  At this point the piano is out in the middle of the living room   and there are paint drop cloths all over the place and … it’s just a mess.  And while mess is sort of a constant around here, even I can’t pretend that this kind of mess is acceptable.  So we’re working on it.

As if I don’t have enough to do these days, I’ve been thinking about writing lately.  Mostly really it’s just that Jack keeps showing up in my head.  I’m not sure what to do about that.  I really don’t have time to write, I can barely even find time to blog.
And on that  note, I have stuff to do.

Would You Like a List of My Grievances? May 9, 2009

I don’t have one.  I don’t even really have any grievances.  I just haven’t really been up to… contact.

But I have been thinking a lot.

I have a friend, a gal I grew up with (she was about three years older than me but she had a little sister who was my age and I had sisters her age and her family was in the ward, you know the drill) who died last weekend.  Of the flu.  No, not the swine flu, just the plain old flu.  She had three sons 9,6,and 3.  What do you say about that?

I have the same stinking back pain.  Again.  (Still not pregnant.)  And every time I try to stand I feel like the muscles in my back somehow forgot how to hold me upright.

We’re still planning on trying to move but there are still all these people in my house who keep eating, and wearing clothes and peeing in the toilets (and let’s face it, on the floor) and … And it’s difficult.

Sean has been very helpful and overall fantastic about all the chores we have for the selling the house prep.

The Princess turned 9.  Isn’t she amazing and gorgeous?

Isn’t that cake amazing and gorgeous?  My sister made it.  It was delicious too.

My friend Annie, who’s also amazing and gorgeous see: (I couldn’t help it, it’s my favorite picture of her.  Ok Fine,) came over to help me with the birthday party we had for the Princess.  She came right in and took over, doing the hair and make-up of five 9ish year olds.  By the end of the party, heck five minutes into the party, she was their god.

Me?  I was their plaything:

The Infantile Delinquent turned 3.

I just love (and by love I mean loathe) having a three year old.

But I have to admit he does rock pretty freakin’ hard:

And now I’m all blogged out.  Adieu.

I Should Probably Blog About Something April 12, 2009

But what?

Easter?  Almost certainly, but I probably won’t.

The new (to me) and as yet unnamed laptop that I’m writing this on?  I got it free thanks to my brother.  It’s got a few quirks but what around here doesn’t?  And now that topic’s pretty much completely exhausted.

I could tell you some more stories about my neighbors and why it’s imperative that we move… Bah, I don’t think I’m up to it.  These are some good stories, they require s good story teller, and that’s not me tonight.

How about I tell you about how I walked into my kitchen to find the Baby on the floor playing with razor blades?  Well see, I walked in the kitchen and the Baby was sitting on the floor playing with razor blades.  Oh, and an open safety pin.  They were the razor blades that I found in the tub of baby toys in the playroom about a week ago.  (And now you’re all clamoring to bring your kids over for a play date.)  I have no idea where they came from before that.  (Can you believe I was overlooked for mother of the year again this year?)

I could blog about…

Ah, forget it.

I’m Just … GRUMPY February 18, 2009

I don’t feel like blogging.

I’ve still been posting about as often as I usually do.  And if you have a blog, I’ve still been reading, I just can’t bring myself to comment.  Because I don’t feel like it.  I don’t feel like talking and I don’t feel like making small talk and, sadly, I don’t feel like telling you that you’re funny (although you are) or that you’re smart (you’re that too) or that you’re so right (but I mean, obviously) I’m just too grumpy to do it.

Does that make me a bad person?

And then there’s the fact that my computer,Rufus, is freaking out and randomly clicking for me so if I leave the mouse somewhere other than at the end of the line I end up with sentences that look like this: not that th o read, see?  ere’s anything wrong with that but it does make them kind of hard t (of course when I let it go to write that sentence stupid Rufus behaved so it almost didn’t jump at all (actually it did randomly erase the whole paragraph but I couldn’t just leave it like that because it doesn’t make a lot of sense without the beginning of the paragraph) but then it did. Phew!)

And tonight I was going to put together the final kitchen post but my stupid camera is going through batteries like John Mayer goes through starlets so when I pulled it out it just turned itself off.  So I couldn’t take the necessary pictures so now you don’t get that post.  Yet.

“Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…”

Maybe it’s the stupid cold, I’m tired of the cold.  Or maybe it’s the fact that the kids are off track, stupid year round school.  Or maybe it’s the never ending list of crap that needs to be done around the house (Kitchen’s done, yeah yeah yeah, but I still have to replace the window and build the desk and then there’s the living room…) Or maybe it’s just that I’m not that nice of a person after all.

Who knows?

I had a dream about an old boyfriend the other night.  It was super vivid and it really made me want to talk to him.  But he isn’t returning my emails so I guess that won’t happen.  Stupid ex-boyfriend.

I did the taxes a couple weeks ago.  When you have four kids and you make fifty cents an hour, doing the taxes is like winning the lottery (a small lottery but still).   That should make me happy.  Meh.

Don’t mind me, I’m fine, talk amongst yourselves.  I’ll be back with a more cheerful post or a meme or a report on the kitchen tomorrow.

Funny You Should Mention That December 20, 2008

Both my darling sister Catherine and my good Friend Lisa mentioned that when they saw the title of the last post they thought it was going to be about the kitchen.

That just makes me chuckle.  Have you learned nothing here girls?  I’m NEVER going to be done with the kitchen.  In fact I happened to take some pictures of the kitchen right before I wrote that last post.  I kid you not, this is exactly what my kitchen looked like as I turned my back on it to write that happy little post.

La la la la la la la  la.  That’s just me singing  a happy tune.  And how could you not, living like this?

And just for good measure, here’s the sink full of dishes that I didn’t do that morning because I hung some sheetrock (yes, more sheetrock) and then went Christmas shopping instead.

Merry Christmas!