Getting Away With Murder and Other Passtimes

I want to make it clear right up front that I am in no way complaining here.  I don’t mind that this is happening per se.  I just think it’s interesting.

I’ve accidentally become teacher’s pet.

It started out innocently enough, answering questions in class, usually correctly although occasionally not, asking pertinent questions, laughing at her jokes (I thought they were funny).  Maybe it was my interest in the subject matter or maybe it was my lack of total disinterest (you should see the looks on the faces of some of the people in this class) whatever it was I think she likes me.  I think that’s great, I like to be liked.

I first noticed that this might be working to my advantage when we went over the last test in class.  I did well on the test, I knew the material, I mostly understood what she was getting at in her questions and answered mostly appropriately.  But there were a few questions as we went over the test and she told us what specifically she had been looking for in the answers that I wondered.  It wasn’t that I had gotten the question wrong, it was just that I had described the process without putting the name to it.  I knew the name, I should have included it but for whatever reason when writing my paragraph answer to her question I failed to use the name.  I got the question right anyway.  Now in my defense, I did describe the process which shows an understanding of what’s really going on which is, to my mind, more important than giving the name of the process.  I appreciated her giving me the benefit of the doubt, but I wouldn’t have faulted her for taking off a point.

Last week I turned in a draft of a research paper for this class.  In class she had mentioned that it needed to be 2 pages long.  I did some research, finding myself almost obsessively interested in the subject matter (see this post) and wrote 2 1/2 pages on the flu.  It wasn’t until after I had turned it in that I read through the actual requirements for the 2 pages draft.  They include things like a preliminary works cited page, which I haven’t gotten around to working on yet, and at least 3 in text citations, again, not something I bothered with.  Oh well, I thought, I’ll probably still get in the mid 80% range and my grade so far in this class is such that that won’t be a problem.

I got my score today, 100%.

As I mentioned at the outset, I’m not complaining.  It was a draft which I don’t usually write, that’s just not how I roll. It didn’t even begin to follow the outline that I had turned in a month before (in conjunction with not drafting I do not outline stuff before I write it, at least not on paper) in fact, I didn’t even keep a copy of the outline that I had sent in so I couldn’t have followed it if I wanted to.  And in reality, as an indicator of how the whole thing is going to turn out it’s 100% work.  My final paper will be good, it will have all the necessary points as far as numbers of references and in text citations, it will be the correct length and it will be as science heavy as I can make it (which was not my plan when I chose my topic, in fact I chose that topic because it has a lot of historical implications and at the time I thought that I was going to find that a lot more interesting.  I was wrong, microbiology is fascinating and I’m loving the science) all things that are going to make it a paper worthy of a grade in the mid to high 90’s. And I’m certainly not complaining about not missing points but…



Crithidia fasciculate is a protist that lives in the gut of mosquitoes. Is it weird that I find crazy and fascinating?

It’s amazing to me that at some point our ability to see things with a regular microscope is stifled by the fact that light waves are too big.

90% of the ocean is below 5 degrees C.

There are bacteria that are killed by oxygen that live in the crevices around our teeth. (This one really makes me want to pay very close attention to my brushing.)

I Think I’d Better Think it Out Again

I finished all the pre-reqs for the nursing program at the local community college last May.  I did that primarily because IHC, the company that I work for, runs a nursing program through SLCC, the community college, which would allow me to go to school for free only requiring that I work full time for them for 2 years.  Something that I would have wanted to do anyway.

But I didn’t get into the program.

Well, no matter I thought (after taking a minute to get over my disappointment) I’ll get onto the waiting list at SLCC and IHC will probably run another program soon.  I got onto the waiting list.  I am guaranteed a slot by spring 2015. And IHC has put their program on hold, indefinitely.

*As an aside let me mention that I decided to go back to school so that I could feed my boys when they’re teenagers and that at the rate I’m going I’ll finally get started about the same time that I get the (not so) Baby off to college.

I have some other options.  There are various schools, from trade schools to Universities, that have nursing programs.  I thought about it, I did a little research, I considered.  But the fact of the matter was that I still have 2 kids at home most of the time, I can’t start a program that will dictate when I must take classes.  So, very uncharacteristically for me, I decided to be fine with waiting.

The 2015 date was, after all, based on everyone above me on the list doing SLCC’s program, which wouldn’t happen. Most people aren’t as patient as I am.  So it’s really more like 2013.  Which just happens to be the year that the (not so) Baby starts kindergarten.  See, this was going to work out just fine, I was going to wait, Sean was thinking about taking a few classes, I had some more that I could take that would set me up to just carry on after finishing the program and get my bachelors.  I had it all worked out and I was happy with my plan.

Which is, of course, why I got the letter that I did Saturday.

The letter I got Saturday was from SLCC.  They’ve had a lot of people jump the list to do other programs other places and a bunch more people who are on the list but not quite ready (there are pre-reqs to get on the list and then other things that you just have to do before you actually start but IHC required them all to even apply so I had done them all) and they are looking for people who are ready to start in January.

How do I not apply?

I don’t. (Not apply that is.  Meaning that I do apply.)

So here I am again, after having completely come to terms with not starting and honestly feeling good about that, I’m back in limbo.  Those who are ready will be accepted in the order that they appear on the waiting list and I’m pretty far down so I’m still not likely to start in January but just the possibility is … distracting.

One Fine Day

The boys puked all night. (There’s some speculation about some bad popcorn.)  It wasn’t quite as much fun as it sounds.

I got up and we read scriptures as a family (a huge accomplishment when you consider that the kids are off track and we’ve historically been crap at reading if there was no school to put a deadline on it.)

I went and took my test (I got a 91, thankyouverymuch.)

I had to stay at school a little longer than usual to work on my group project.

I came home to two boys (no longer puking thank goodness) who were unable to stay apart and yet unable to get along while together.

Sean had to run some errands.  All three boys wanted to go.  He took them all. (Sucker!)

I’ll have to leave a little early for class today so that we can put the finishing touches on the group presentation before we do it and then watch 9 other groups do theirs and then have a lecture (the point of this is that class is definitely going to take it’s allotted 4 hours today).

Between the puking and the fighting I’m not that sad to have to spend my “day off” away from the kids.

That is all.

PS. The title of this post was chosen solely because that’s the song that was playing on the computer when I started this post. (Don’t you just love the Carpenters?)

PPS. Back to interesting posts tomorrow I promise.

PPPS. If you wanted to help me win a $10,000 bike (and help fight cancer) you could follow this link and donate $5 to the Lance Armstrong Foundation.  I’m just sayin…

This Morning

Over the Weekend I had a pretty good idea for a blog post but I just can’t make it work out today and I’m giving up trying.

Mostly I can’t make it work out because I have a lot of other stuff on my mind this morning, stuff that’s making it really difficult to focus.

So I thought I’d tell you a little bit about that stuff instead.

(In no particular order)

1. My boss is currently in the ICU at a local hospital.  He was in a motorcycle accident over the weekend and last I heard, was on a ventilator.  I believe that his prognosis is fairly good (as in they don’t expect him to die and he’ has the use of hands and legs) but still it’s a little … worrying.

2. I’ve been having trouble with one of my co-workers.  There’s a gal that I work with who I don’t particularly like.  I’ve been making a conscious effort to have a better attitude about her (not spend quite so much time finding fault etc…) but this weekend there was an incident that is causing trouble for another gal that I work with, one that I love to death, and it looks like I’m going to have to do better than I have been so that I can make work ok for my friend.  (That’s a little convoluted and confusing, I know but I’m trying to explain without getting specific).

3. My kids are off track.

4. I have a test on Wednesday.

5. I have a project due Wednesday.

6. The InfaDel is currently cutting the (not so) Baby’s hair.  I Gotta go…

Being the Bug

It’s spring break this week, for me, not for the kids.  That means that for one blessed week I don’t have school, I don’t have homework, I get to be home EVERY NIGHT.  I was supposed to spend the week in blissed out serenity, smiling, laughing, exuding joy.

Yeah, it hasn’t been quite like that.

Sunday night I got 4 hours of sleep.  Despite that fact I managed to get the dishes done, get the laundry started, work out, dress the kids, and feed them and myself lunch, all by noon and all without yelling, screaming or tears.  I was on a roll.  I had a little nap, a little cheesecake, and despite the fact that I had one of the biggest, most painful zits I’ve ever had (and that’s saying something)  cropping up on my chin, I was fine.

And then I checked my email.

What I found was an email from IHC about the nursing program that I applied for, the program that would let me be done with school the very soonest that I could be done, the one that wouldn’t cost me any money, the one that despite knowing better, I was counting on.  I didn’t get in.

It was a blow, I teared up, I called Sean, I complained to my sisters but I was ok.  And then I realized that in addition to losing all my apps when I synced my iPod that morning (it’s complicated) I had lost everything else too.  My calender, my contacts, a list of all my usernames and passwords for all my accounts.  All gone.

I lost it.  I spent the remainder of the day weeping.  Wandering around tears streaming down my face, absolutely bereft.

The sun went down and then it came back up and I’m ok, I’m going to be just fine, I can (more or less) recreate my calender and I can probably get back most of the numbers and addresses in my contacts list, I may even have a paper list of all my usernames and passwords somewhere.  I’ll be fine, I’ll come up with a new dreams and work out alternate plans and it’ll be fine, my skin will even clear up.  Eventually.

But yesterday, well, sometimes you’re the windshield but me, I was the bug.

PS If I had your address and/or your phone number I probably don’t anymore so either get it to me or don’t whatever.

Prayer, Trust and Bargaining

Pardon the blatant religion.  Or, you know, don’t, whatever.

There’s something I want.  I say want because I’m not sure that it quite classifies as a need, but it’s a close thing.  What I want is to register for Physiology.  It’s the last class I have to take to fulfill the nursing prereqs and I just want to take it and get it out of the way.  Unfortunately, Physiology has a prereq of its own, Biology, a class that I’m taking this semester but because I don’t have a grade for Bio, I can’t register for Phys.  So I’m doing all that I can to get it, I’m making phone calls and sending emails and checking the computer and all that.

And I’m praying.

When I first realized that I might have trouble registering for Phys I prayed about (also about whether I’d be able to handle the class without the Bio background) and the answer I got was that I shouldn’t worry about it, that I’d somehow be bale to get the class and I’d do fine in it.  I think.

And there’s my first problem.  I believe that the Lord sends us signs, I believe that He talks to us and I believe that He points us in the right direction.  Except really I believe that most of the signs are in the fine print, that He mostly whispers and that He does a lot more gentle nudging than He does pointing.  I’d really rather He just grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me in the direction I need to go but it doesn’t work like that.  I pray and I feel like I’m getting answers (sometimes) but, then I inevitably wonder if I’m just deluding myself, if my subconscious or something has just kicked in and calmed me down and it’s not divine direction at all, just my brain trying to lower my blood pressure.  I’ve gotten better at trusting the calm, and I know that that’s the best way to be more sure that it really is an answer the next time, but it’s still hard.

So here I am now, the semester’s started and I’m still not registered for Phys.  And the brilliant plan that I came up with last fall, of showing up in class and explaining the situation to the instructor and getting him/her to register me has been shot all to heck and gone because the school has changed the method by which students are added to classes so it’s all back on me and I still can’t register because I still don’t have a grade for the prereq.  So I’m back to the nail biting and hoping and calling and emailing and praying.  And I’m back to the doubting my answer from before except that I’m getting the same answer now.  But how can that be right?  The class is sure to fill up and then even if I talk someone into my point of view they won’t be able to help me because there won’t be space!  So I’m praying harder but well, that’s just silly right?  I mean I’m an adult, how may times can I say please?  What I want to do is offer something.  I want to bargain.

I’m on my knees and I find myself saying or at least wanting to say “get me into that class and I’ll go to the temple twice a month” or “I’ll make sure that I do scriptures with the kids every day, not just school days” or “I’ll never swear again”.  (All worthy goals I’d like to point out.) But I know that that’s not how it works, I know that the Lord doesn’t work on the barter system, bad things happen to good people all the time, cheaters prosper with some amount of regularity.  It’ll all even up in the end, I believe that too, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll get into the Phys class that I need whether I go to the temple every day or not.

So what’s a girl to do?

Nothing dang it.  I need to keep trying to do my best, maybe I should try to read scriptures with the kids a little more but not so that I’ll get into Phys, just because I should.  I need to keep doing everything I can to get into the class, and I need to trust the Lord that whatever happens, whether I get into Phys or not, will be the best thing for me and my family.  I need to trust the fine print and the whispering and the nudges.  But if you happen to see a billboard with my name on it, let me know will ya?

PS.  I got into the phys class this morning and in the end it was really easy, it took one phone call.  Maybe the Lord was right and I didn’t need to worry after all.  Huh.

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