I’m Just … GRUMPY

I don’t feel like blogging.

I’ve still been posting about as often as I usually do.  And if you have a blog, I’ve still been reading, I just can’t bring myself to comment.  Because I don’t feel like it.  I don’t feel like talking and I don’t feel like making small talk and, sadly, I don’t feel like telling you that you’re funny (although you are) or that you’re smart (you’re that too) or that you’re so right (but I mean, obviously) I’m just too grumpy to do it.

Does that make me a bad person?

And then there’s the fact that my computer,Rufus, is freaking out and randomly clicking for me so if I leave the mouse somewhere other than at the end of the line I end up with sentences that look like this: not that th o read, see?  ere’s anything wrong with that but it does make them kind of hard t (of course when I let it go to write that sentence stupid Rufus behaved so it almost didn’t jump at all (actually it did randomly erase the whole paragraph but I couldn’t just leave it like that because it doesn’t make a lot of sense without the beginning of the paragraph) but then it did. Phew!)

And tonight I was going to put together the final kitchen post but my stupid camera is going through batteries like John Mayer goes through starlets so when I pulled it out it just turned itself off.  So I couldn’t take the necessary pictures so now you don’t get that post.  Yet.

“Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…”

Maybe it’s the stupid cold, I’m tired of the cold.  Or maybe it’s the fact that the kids are off track, stupid year round school.  Or maybe it’s the never ending list of crap that needs to be done around the house (Kitchen’s done, yeah yeah yeah, but I still have to replace the window and build the desk and then there’s the living room…) Or maybe it’s just that I’m not that nice of a person after all.

Who knows?

I had a dream about an old boyfriend the other night.  It was super vivid and it really made me want to talk to him.  But he isn’t returning my emails so I guess that won’t happen.  Stupid ex-boyfriend.

I did the taxes a couple weeks ago.  When you have four kids and you make fifty cents an hour, doing the taxes is like winning the lottery (a small lottery but still).   That should make me happy.  Meh.

Don’t mind me, I’m fine, talk amongst yourselves.  I’ll be back with a more cheerful post or a meme or a report on the kitchen tomorrow.

A La Bythelbs

You know how Bythelbs does those posts about those emails that she-  What?  You don’t read Bythelbs?  Why the heck not?  You should you know.  Go ahead click on the link, I’ll be right here.  No really, I’ll wait.

Back?   Ok now, so you probably didn’t see one because it’s been a while since she’s done one but she occasionally does these posts about these misdirected or phishing email that she gets and they crack me up because… Well, because they’re really funny.

Anyway, I thought I never got those kinds of emails because I never see them because like 90% of the rest of the world I have a yahoo email account and like 20% of the rest of the world I actually use mine.  (Emailing with a company that has millions of costumers means that they see billions of spam emails so their spam filters are actually quite good.)  But I checked another email account that I have the other day and I found a few gems.

The first is, I think, a pretty basic phishing scam but I find it fascinating because I don’t see them that often.  Here it is:

Tell: +27 73 313 35 72
I write, asking for your indulgence in re-profiling funds to tune of Twelve Million,
Eight Hundred Thousand United States Dollars (US$12.8m) which we want to keep safely
overseas under your supervision.
In other words, we would like you to receive the said funds on our behalf. The Funds
were derived over time from a project awarded to a foreign firm by my Department, and
presently the actual contract cost have been paid to the original project executors,
leaving the balance in the tune of the said amount which we have in principle obtained
approval to remit overseas.
Kindly pardon the use of a medium informal as this for reaching out to you to make a
request of great importance to us.
Currently, I work as a Director of Projects at the Department of Minerals & Energy here
in Pretoria . I have the authority and approval of my partners involved in this
transaction to negotiate a suitable compensation for your participation and I propose
22.2 percent, while we also propose that we receive 46.6 percent and 31.2 percent be
earmarked for purposes of taxation.
This endeavor has a minimal risk factor on your part provided you treat it with the
utmost discretion. You are advised to reach me through email or you can contact me on my
number for further clarifications. (solomon.zuma@executivemail.co.za)
I am available for further clarification.
I kindly wait to hear from you.
Yours Sincerely,
Solomon Zuma

I just love that they don’t know whether I’m a sir or a madam but they trust me to keep almost 13 million dollars under my supervision.  I’m a big fan of the random sprinkling of corporate and official sounding words “The Funds were derived over time from a project awarded to a foreign firm by my Department, and presently the actual contract cost have been paid to the original project executors, leaving the balance in the tune of the said amount which we have in principle obtained approval to remit overseas.” What does that even mean? And then there’s the generic African sounding name.  Altogether priceless.

It may be heartless of me to ask but who falls for these things?  Who reads this and thinks Oh my goodness, this poor guy, he really sounds like he needs my help. And then starts sending money?

The second email that I got actually gave me pause for a minute.  The first thing that caught my attention was that is showed as being from Chris Oldboyfriend.  (No, not that old boy friend.)  For a minute I was actually really excited to read it because I haven’t heard from him in a long time. (Mostly due to my own lazyness but let’s not go into that ok?) But then I started reading the email.  Here it is:

How are you today ? I am sorry I didn’t inform you about my traveling for a program called Empowering Youth to Fight Racism, HIV/AIDS, and Lack of Education. The program took place in three countries in Europe which are Scotland, Ireland and England.  I am presently in England. I misplaced my wallet on my way to the hotel where my money, and other valuables were kept. I will like you to assist me with a soft loan urgently. The total sum of money that i would need would be $2,800US Dollars to sort-out my hotel bills and get myself back home. I will appreciate whatever you can afford, i’ll pay you back as soonas i return,Let me know if you can assist me so that i can send you the details to use when sending the money through western union money transfer.

NB :Let me know if you would be able to help me out and lend me the money ?

Regards ,

Chris .

Ok so, first of all this is a guy I haven’t talked to in probably at least 5 years.  Why on earth would he have informed me of his travel plans?  Secondly, who writes a friend and asks for a “soft loan”?  I know that that’s what a loan of a “small” amount of money is called (I think) and that’s great if you’re talking about corporate petty cash or something but “Hey buddy, can you help me out with a soft loan?”  that just doesn’t sound all that-  actually, it’s growing on me.  Next time I need to borrow a couple bucks I might just try it out.

But the biggest thing that convinced me that there was now way that this email was actually from Chris Oldboyfriend was the closing.  Regards.  Regards?! This is a guy that at one time I thought I was going to marry.  He’s a guy that I still love, that I will always love (because you never really ever completely stop loving someone that you loved once do you?)  and I get a “regards”?! Even if I did think it was actually from him I wouldn’t have sent him any money just for that.

But I have a lot of respect for his trying to stamp out Rascism, HIV/AIDS, and Lack of Education.  Now that’s ambition.

Why Everyone Should Blog

I finally got an email address for a high school boyfriend about a month ago.  This is a guy and I had relationship for about three years.  He wasn’t the great love of my life or anything like that and things ended on kind of a weird note.  (He moved away, we sort of stayed together but eventually I wanted to date other people, I was a junior in high school after all and, whatever.)  Anyway, he’s a guy I remember fondly and I find myself, not too infrequently, being reminded of him by something Sean says or does.

So I got his email address and tried to contact him.  But I made a fatal mistake.  I left the link to the blog on the email.

I haven’t heard back.

And when I think about it I’m not surprised.  The thing is, reading this, gives you glimpse into my life that I’d want of those old friends.  No, you don’t hear about it every time I’ve got a cold, (right now, and it’s a doozy, in case you were wondering) but who cares? You don’t want to know that anyway.  You know about the kids, you hear a bit about Sean, and about work and about stealing cars (Sorry, that’s just not going to get old to me).  Basically, you know all of the stuff that I want to know about the people that I went to high school with.  Maybe a little more.  But there’s little or no obligation on your part.  (A comment really wouldn’t go amiss here though, just so you know.)

I have neither the time nor the inclination to really rekindle these old relationships.  I don’t have the hours to spend on the phone that I did.  And if I were going to spend hours on the phone, it wouldn’t be with friends from high school anyway.  I don’t actually want contact, I just want to know how and what they’re doing.

I want to read their blogs.

I do have a few old friends who blog (Actually, only really one that I know of.) and I’m facebook friends with a few more (Although myspace is infinitely better for that kind of thing because you can go in and look without obligating yourself to any kind of actual contact.) and that’s all I want.  I just want to know what Chris is doing, if Mike is married, does Ken have kids?  (Why are these all male?)  And that’s it.  I want the high school reunion without the actual reunion. (I live 2000 miles from my high school, I’m not ever going to make it to the reunions.)

So what I’m saying is, Scott, if you’re reading this, either contact me or I’m going to need a link to your blog. 😉