I’m Not Blogging Today

A few months ago I promised myself that I’d blog at least three times per week, and that I’d try to do four.  Last week I didn’t make it past two.  (Despite the fact that I’m happy to call a one liner on Friday a post.)

I have a lot on my mind today but it’s just not really stuff that I want to post about so I’m not gonna.  I did think of at lest one decent post topic the other day but I’m just not up to writing it today so more likely than not it’ll just sit around in my head and get moldy until I give up and throw it out.

I could write a list of things that are depressing or otherwise upsetting me today, since that seems to be all I can think about, but I will not be the chick who wrote a list of gripes a week and a half before Thanksgiving (and no one wants to read that anyway) so that’s out.

So what it all comes down to is, I’m not blogging today because I have nothing to blog about.

The End.

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Topical Schmopical

So you may have noticed that the blogging around here has picked up (no, not the quality of the blogging, don’t be silly, just the amount of blogging).

The explanation for the renewed interest (my interest) is that I’ve decided to revisit my plan for world domination through blogging.

I am having a few problems with that though.  I’m told (you know, “they” say) that in order to really make it somewhere with your blog you need to have a topic, an overarching theme to your posts.

Some people blog about food, some people blog about mortgages, some people blog about cycling, or celebrities, or snuggies.  Me?  I don’t have a theme.  Look at my categories, I go from kids to work to writing to working-out (I notice that alphabetically there’s not a whole lot of variation there, but we’re not talking about the alphabet here, we’re talking about topics.)

So what should my topic be I wonder?

I could write a food blog.  I am actually a pretty good cook.  Unfortunately, I find that when you write a food blog people want recipes, and I’m not so much with the measuring.  All my recipes go something like this: “you start out with some garlic (never a bad way to start) maybe half a clove’s worth, or maybe more, you could do like a whole clove, or two cloves or… and then you put in some zucchini, just you know, however much you want…” and it’s just devolves from there.

I guess food blogging is out.

I could write about mortgages.  There are two problems with that, the first is that all I know about mortgages is that you don’t end up paying any money towards the actual house until you’ve owned it for about 29 years (and that no one’s ever made it that far).  The second problem is that I find mortgage blogs stupifyingly boring (except for yours Chris, I love yours).  So no mortgage blogging.

I don’t know enough about cycling, I don’t like celebrities, and I’m pretty sure that the snuggie blog market is pretty well flooded by this one blog.

I’m having trouble with topical.

So if I’m not going to be topical, I guess I need to be funny.  Really really funny.  Side splittingly, hilariously, spit your coffee (or your coke) at the screen funny.

I’m not that funny.

So funny’s out.  Maybe I’ll try for interesting.

Oh who am I kidding?  Interesting is a lot of work and I don’t have that kind of time (or, you know, interest).

Sigh.

You know, I’m not sure I’m all that into world domination anyway.  It sounds like a lot of work.

Note: Really I’m just blogging more lately because I feel like blogging more lately, it’s as simple as that.

I Have Got to Stop Doing This

The first problem is that I let myself go weeks without blogging.  That may not be a problem for any of you (in fact, I’m willing to bet that there are a few of you who are a little relieved when I don’t blog (you’re welcome for this summer BTW) ) but for me it’s a problem because my goal was to blog at least once a week and for those of you non math majors blogging every three (or four) weeks is not blogging once a week.

The second problem stems from the first.  Any time I’m not blogging pressure is building up.  When I’m blogging regularly I don’t notice so much, very little pressure builds up in the course of a day or two.  Even a week is not too big of a deal but by the end of three (or four) weeks there is considerable pressure.  What pressure you ask? (Yes, I’m aware that you don’t care) the pressure to write a really good post.  After three (or four) weeks I feel like I have to have something really good to blog about something that will, ideally, explain my absence but more importantly, explain why I’m back.

I feel like I have to have this post that’s great, that makes you laugh — or chuckle at least — or better yet, makes you cry.  A post that makes you realize that I’m a fantastic blogger and that you’ve missed my wit and wisdom terribly and that blah blah blah.  My returning post can not be about my workout today (which was really hard so hard in fact that I only did half of it which was a little sad because I have in the past done more than half of it (although I’ve never actually finished that particular work out) but today I did do it harder than I’ve ever done before (squatted lower, jumped higher, did all the push ups on my feet rather than dropping to my knees) so I’m actually not too disappointed.  Especially when I factor in the fact that I noticed today that the helper girl (you know the two people who stand behind the “instructor” and do the workout all with perky smiles on their faces) was totally phoning it in!  Her squats were not deep, she was hardly jumping at all (she did not drop to her knees but I’ll bet (I have to bet because I find it hard to watch the TV while I’m doing push ups) her form was not good) I don’t blame her.  It’s a stinking hard work out (as evidenced by the fact that I did not finish it) .  But I thought it was funny.)  See?  That’s not a good retuning post!

Neither is the one I was thinking about about the fact that the deadbolt on the back door broke –luckily when we were all inside so as to not be locking someone out (although now that I think about it I’m not sure how (or) why being locked in in so much better than being locked out) — and after pulling it apart and deciding that it could not be fixed, Shaun went to fairly great lengths to replace it (after having spent the day just using the front door) so that we can have a back door that looks like this: Let’s move past the dirtiness and the marks on the door left by the venetian blinds (yes, I know how to fix that I just don’t really care) and look at the fact that on this door, right next to the lock, I have not one but two broken window panes that have been expertly “repaired” with cardboard and duct tape.  Yeah, we’d better hurry and get a new deadbolt in there, we wouldn’t want to leave our house exposed.  (In our defense (pun intended) that is corrugated cardboard and there are two layers of it.  We’re totally safe.)  See?  Again, not a great blog post.

I also though about posting about the very nice guy on the Jordan River Parkway Trail that I was riding yesterday who helped me with my tire (I had a flat) and perhaps to mention that while what we tried (pumping it up) didn’t work,  (because the problem with my tire wasn’t something that could be repaired on the trail, or indeed at home, it can only be repaired by throwing that particular inner tube in the garbage) I appreciate the effort just the same.  And I got  a lot farther than a I would have if he hadn’t helped me out which was good because I still had to walk a fair bit.  Also that I really need to start carrying a cell phone with me when I ride.  And possibly that I got really lost on the trail but I love that I live in Utah so I always knew that I was going in (more or less) the right direction and that I would eventually end up some where that I could identify.   And I did.  I just have no idea how I got there.  (I’m very visual and I can’t find anything without a mental map.  Unfortunately I can’t get my ride yesterday to coincide with my current mental map.  Good thing I can map my ride it and see an actual map and then I’ll be fine.)

I really should blog about the Pea’s 8th birthday, which is today, but honestly I’m not really a fan of birthday posts (except for yours, I love yours) so I’ll probably just say Happy Birthday to the Pea and leave it at that.  (For that matter, I could blog about my 12th wedding anniversary which is tomorrow but I probably won’t, I hit the anniversary once –read it here, it’s good– and that will probably do it for the next few years.)

The third problem (I’ll bet you forgot that I was listing the problems I’m having with this blog) is the layout.  I’ve had numerous comments on the layout here in the Wonderland and they’ve all been positive (which I love) and honestly I really really like the layout, I like the colors, I like that it’s feminine without being overly feminine and I used to love that the text portion is wide.  Now… not so much.  See the wide text thing is great if you’re going to write really long posts, or if you’re going to, say, post chapters of your book as blog posts (which is the reason that I wanted the wide text thing in the first place.  And I’m sure you’ve noticed how often I’ve posted chapters of my books as blog posts…) but if you don’t have much to say it can be daunting.  I write what feels like a decent length post and then post it only to click over and see that it doesn’t even fill the screen.  (Right there, I can see the next (last) post peeking up at the bottom of the screen.  I can see its title, I can even see the first line or two.  Heck I’ve hardly written anything at all. *Hangs head in shame.*)  So I’m thinking about changing it but, that’s a lot (and by a lot I mean some) of work, I’m not sure I’m up to it.

So there you have it.  The reason that I’m not blogging, or that I haven’t been blogging or that… oh forget it.

I’ve Forgotten How to Blog

I’d like to blog, I really would.  I’d like to have a long running consistently interesting, or at least not completely lame blog.  But I just … can’t.

I don’t remember how to do that, I don’t remember how to come up with blog posts.

It’s summer (obviously) and I occasionally want to blog about how if my kids don’t quit whining my head’s going to explode into a million pieces that they’ll have to be picking out of their hair for the next three weeks (after which I’m sure all memory of “that lady who yells at us all the time” will be gone) but since that’s the only thing I can ever think to blog about and it’s not all that interesting the first time around, never mind that once we head down that road and that’s all you get out of me.  So I don’t.

I’d post some sort of random list of things that I have going on at the moment, but when you haven’t blogged in 36 years it seems a little presumptuous to believe that anyone cares that you’re training of a 5K and you hate every minute of it, so I’m not doing that.

I could post some funny little anecdote about something that I saw the other day but that requires my having seen something funny (or being able to make up something funny, in the event that I didn’t mind lying to you) but I didn’t (and I’m not).

I could tell you my nursing school woes, for they are legion, but I’m sick of them and they’re stupid and long and involved and that post would be almost as boring as this post (it’s that really long one about how the call teams at work work and how I was so sick at work that I thought I was going to die and then they called int he guy and… see, I’m bored already) but without the interesting life saving story at the end, so I think I’ll skip that.

I could post about how I’m tired of being poor, but I still have a job, and Sean still has a job and in this economy…

I could post about the World Cup, but I’m not really watching.  I want to be but apparently I don’t want to be enough to, you know, actually be.

I could post about my new hair color, but I haven’t even dyed it since I went fire engine red (I’d link but I’m pretty sure that post is still on the front page) so now I’m sporting this sort of sickly grown out, faded pink chunks of hair look.  It’s not a  good look and yet I do nothing.

I used to always have things to post, funny (ok, amusing), interesting, informative (not really), things to post about but now… nothing.  I’ve forgotten how to blog.

The End.

I Was Going to Call This, “No, I’m Not Dead”

But then I realized that none of you, not ONE of the three people who read this blog, even bothered to call and find out if I was dead.  How’s that for concern for the gal who doesn’t blog anymore.

Actually, I don’t care and in all reality I’d prefer it if my phone doesn’t ring.  So thank you for not calling.

Moving on-

I was watching the Olympics the other day and (OK, I wasn’t watching the Olympics, I haven’t watched any of the Olympics, not any at all, because I’m a communist) but I was wondering if pot is considered a performance enhancing drug if you’re a snowboarder.  Or a rock climber (although as far as I know that’s not an Olympic sport…)

Speaking of rock climbing, I certified to lead climb about a week ago, which means that I’m allowed to climb above the rope (as opposed to top roping where the rope is always above you).  The problem with climbing above the rope is that if you fall you fall a lot farther (by a lot farther, I mean between 3 and 15 feet -ish) I didn’t think that was a problem but I find now that I’m too scared to climb at all.  This is a problem.

In other news, school is going well.  I had a Bio test last week (by far my easiest class) and rocked it, I just hope that I can do the same for my Phys test (by far, my hardest class) today.  (Did I mention that I’m only taking two classes?  Whatever.)

I went outside and played freeze tag with my kids the other day.  Maybe for some of you that’s about par for the course, but for me that’s the kind of thing I think about doing in a sort of “hey wouldn’t that be cute and fun and good momish of me if I …) but I never actually do it.  But I did it.  (So I’m pretty sure I have the mom of the year thing in the bag, sorry ladies.) The kids thought it was funny and wanted me to be it the whole time so they could see if they were faster than me.  (They’re not on the straightaway and if I had some decent shoes they wouldn’t have as much of an advantage when it came to agility…) The point is I win  mom of the year.

I was doing the bills the other day and I came across a $75.00 charge so I called Sean.  (No, it wasn’t socks.)  See, a week or so before Valentine’s day I sent him an email with a few links to a few necklaces I’d found on Etsy and liked, I thought I’d like to have one and hey, look, Valentine’s day is coming up and blah blah blah…  So I sent the links.  I thought that I had looked and that none of the necklaces were more than about $30, with most in the $20 range.  Apparently I was wrong.  (And the necklace still hasn’t come so I don’t even know yet if it’s worth it.)

Happy Thursday.

Blogging? What’s that?

Oh I remember now.

I have nothing to say and I’m loath to take up your precious and valuable time with nothing (although if you’re like me you’re just randomly checking your blog reader because you have not much else better to do so I guess I shouldn’t worry so much about wasting your time) but I really don’t have anything to say.

I’m working on getting copies of On the Table on Amazon or Ebay or somewhere so that it will be available to the three of you who want it (but that’s made more difficult by the fact that only three of you want it, it would be a lot easier and cheaper if thousands of you did) but I have no actual news in the vein.

School starts again today.  For me that is, not for the kids, they’re off track forEVER (or maybe just until the end of the month, I forget).  School starting means that I get to go try to beg my way into a lab tonight and a lecture tomorrow.  I’m thinking positively (some people call it delusion.  Potayto, potahto…) and refusing to admit defeat.  It’s going to be great.  It has to.

Sean and I went away four five fabulous days with no children.  It was wonderful.  So wonderful in fact that I forgot how to mother and my children have been riding roughshod over me ever since my return.  Ah, motherhood…

I turned 29 again.  I thought about being 30 but… that just seemed like too much work.

I’m dying here, somebody tell me a joke.

It’s Not That I Don’t Want to Blog

It’s not even that I don’t have anything to blog about.  I have at least two really good posts in my head.  It’s just that writing either one of them is going to take me an hour at least and if I have an hour I need to do something else (homework, house cleaning, etc…) with that.  Sorry.

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