My brother got re-baptized last night. I’m told it went great. I don’t know, I wasn’t there.
I did intend to be there but , well, part of it was my fault. I got the email from my brother and I read far enough to see that there was an address and at that point I stopped reading so I didn’t realize that the address included a street name rather than a number and that the stake center would probably require actual directions (which were offered for the low low price of a return email) rather than the ability to navigate the streets of Lehi (which I learned last night is not easy as the streets which should run north-south don’t). So I didn’t know where we were going.
And then we left a little late. Not very late, not even late enough to really be late just past the time I like to have for a cushion.
And the traffic was unbelievable. I don’t usually have a lot of sympathy for people who don’t take traffic into account. I mean come on, there’s always traffic right? But I didn’t really expect it at 6:30 on a Friday night. (I think I failed to take the fact that it’s conference weekend so all those crazy mormons are getting out of town into account.)
So we left late(ish) and we didn’t know where we were going. That still wouldn’t have been too big of a deal for most of you. But Sean and I are not most of you and even with two of us there was not a phone to be found. Not that a phone would have done us a lot of good considering the fact that neither of us have any more minutes on our prepaid phone plans (yes, I realize that the only people who have prepaid phone plans are 6th graders, shut up).
So we made it to Lehi (finally) about 15 minutes after the baptism was supposed to start and it was just about at that point that the Baby woke up and proceeded to do a surprisingly accurate impression of a Nazgul screaming (You know that scream your baby can do where you think the your skull may actually crack open and your brain, which has been converted to a liquid form by the sound waves, will come pouring out your eye sockets? That’s the one.) So we drove around, not lost exactly but unable to find where we were going, with the nazgul screaming for about 25 minutes at which point I was ready to give up (we had surely missed the baptism anyway) but I was not going to drive all the way home with the Baby screaming like that.
So we decided to go to my other brother, Chris’s. He was surely not home (he was the one performing the baptism afterall) but knowing him as I do, I knew that the house would not be locked and he would be delighted to be of assistance (especially when it required nothing on his part).
So we went to Chris’s house and as expected the front door was not locked. Open entering the house I noticed that someone had burnt dinner and that there were mattresses in the entryway (I never did get an explanation for that one, but he does have 8 kids so I guess I can come up with one on my own). Proceeding into the house the smell of burning increased and I was thinking that whoever burnt dinner had done a really through job of it. And then I got to the kitchen where I found my self crunching on a lot or debris. Now, as I mentioned, Chris has 8 kids so debris on the kitchen floor is not unexpected (especially when I , as a guest am unexpected) but this took “I need to sweep the floor” to a whole other level. And then I realized that it was glass on the floor oh and that there was the remnants of a pan of chocolate chip cookie bars smoking on the stove.
Apparently, the chocolate chip cookies that had been made for the reception after the baptism, and then left at home, had been left on a burner on the stove that had been left on. The pyrex pan that had held the cookie bars had exploded at some point before my entrance on the scene and the remaining cookie on the stove was making an attempt at going up in flames.
So I’m not saying that the Lord made me do it (you know, be late and unprepared) but well, it may not have been the devil either.