I Have Got to Stop Doing This

The first problem is that I let myself go weeks without blogging.  That may not be a problem for any of you (in fact, I’m willing to bet that there are a few of you who are a little relieved when I don’t blog (you’re welcome for this summer BTW) ) but for me it’s a problem because my goal was to blog at least once a week and for those of you non math majors blogging every three (or four) weeks is not blogging once a week.

The second problem stems from the first.  Any time I’m not blogging pressure is building up.  When I’m blogging regularly I don’t notice so much, very little pressure builds up in the course of a day or two.  Even a week is not too big of a deal but by the end of three (or four) weeks there is considerable pressure.  What pressure you ask? (Yes, I’m aware that you don’t care) the pressure to write a really good post.  After three (or four) weeks I feel like I have to have something really good to blog about something that will, ideally, explain my absence but more importantly, explain why I’m back.

I feel like I have to have this post that’s great, that makes you laugh — or chuckle at least — or better yet, makes you cry.  A post that makes you realize that I’m a fantastic blogger and that you’ve missed my wit and wisdom terribly and that blah blah blah.  My returning post can not be about my workout today (which was really hard so hard in fact that I only did half of it which was a little sad because I have in the past done more than half of it (although I’ve never actually finished that particular work out) but today I did do it harder than I’ve ever done before (squatted lower, jumped higher, did all the push ups on my feet rather than dropping to my knees) so I’m actually not too disappointed.  Especially when I factor in the fact that I noticed today that the helper girl (you know the two people who stand behind the “instructor” and do the workout all with perky smiles on their faces) was totally phoning it in!  Her squats were not deep, she was hardly jumping at all (she did not drop to her knees but I’ll bet (I have to bet because I find it hard to watch the TV while I’m doing push ups) her form was not good) I don’t blame her.  It’s a stinking hard work out (as evidenced by the fact that I did not finish it) .  But I thought it was funny.)  See?  That’s not a good retuning post!

Neither is the one I was thinking about about the fact that the deadbolt on the back door broke –luckily when we were all inside so as to not be locking someone out (although now that I think about it I’m not sure how (or) why being locked in in so much better than being locked out) — and after pulling it apart and deciding that it could not be fixed, Shaun went to fairly great lengths to replace it (after having spent the day just using the front door) so that we can have a back door that looks like this: Let’s move past the dirtiness and the marks on the door left by the venetian blinds (yes, I know how to fix that I just don’t really care) and look at the fact that on this door, right next to the lock, I have not one but two broken window panes that have been expertly “repaired” with cardboard and duct tape.  Yeah, we’d better hurry and get a new deadbolt in there, we wouldn’t want to leave our house exposed.  (In our defense (pun intended) that is corrugated cardboard and there are two layers of it.  We’re totally safe.)  See?  Again, not a great blog post.

I also though about posting about the very nice guy on the Jordan River Parkway Trail that I was riding yesterday who helped me with my tire (I had a flat) and perhaps to mention that while what we tried (pumping it up) didn’t work,  (because the problem with my tire wasn’t something that could be repaired on the trail, or indeed at home, it can only be repaired by throwing that particular inner tube in the garbage) I appreciate the effort just the same.  And I got  a lot farther than a I would have if he hadn’t helped me out which was good because I still had to walk a fair bit.  Also that I really need to start carrying a cell phone with me when I ride.  And possibly that I got really lost on the trail but I love that I live in Utah so I always knew that I was going in (more or less) the right direction and that I would eventually end up some where that I could identify.   And I did.  I just have no idea how I got there.  (I’m very visual and I can’t find anything without a mental map.  Unfortunately I can’t get my ride yesterday to coincide with my current mental map.  Good thing I can map my ride it and see an actual map and then I’ll be fine.)

I really should blog about the Pea’s 8th birthday, which is today, but honestly I’m not really a fan of birthday posts (except for yours, I love yours) so I’ll probably just say Happy Birthday to the Pea and leave it at that.  (For that matter, I could blog about my 12th wedding anniversary which is tomorrow but I probably won’t, I hit the anniversary once –read it here, it’s good– and that will probably do it for the next few years.)

The third problem (I’ll bet you forgot that I was listing the problems I’m having with this blog) is the layout.  I’ve had numerous comments on the layout here in the Wonderland and they’ve all been positive (which I love) and honestly I really really like the layout, I like the colors, I like that it’s feminine without being overly feminine and I used to love that the text portion is wide.  Now… not so much.  See the wide text thing is great if you’re going to write really long posts, or if you’re going to, say, post chapters of your book as blog posts (which is the reason that I wanted the wide text thing in the first place.  And I’m sure you’ve noticed how often I’ve posted chapters of my books as blog posts…) but if you don’t have much to say it can be daunting.  I write what feels like a decent length post and then post it only to click over and see that it doesn’t even fill the screen.  (Right there, I can see the next (last) post peeking up at the bottom of the screen.  I can see its title, I can even see the first line or two.  Heck I’ve hardly written anything at all. *Hangs head in shame.*)  So I’m thinking about changing it but, that’s a lot (and by a lot I mean some) of work, I’m not sure I’m up to it.

So there you have it.  The reason that I’m not blogging, or that I haven’t been blogging or that… oh forget it.

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Look What I Got!!!!

Happy Christmas everyone. How was your day?  Mine was fantastic!  It started the night before with a special gift from my husband (that is none of your business) and then we had a great Christmas in which none of my kids cried because they didn’t get what they wanted.  They did not cry because what their brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, or random stranger got was better than what they got.  They didn’t cry because they didn’t get the thing they’ve always wanted (never mind the fact that they didn’t bother to put it on any list anywhere an only bothered to mention it to their mother at 6:30 on Christmas eve.  They didn’t even cry because it was someone else’s turn to open presents.  (There may have been one incidence of crying related to some hitting and a disagreement over a toy gun but really folks, that’s nothing.)  See, look at the joy:

The Princess (Yes, they’re all wearing the same pajamas, because I made them.  How cute is that?!)

Now I know that we’re supposed to focus on what we gave and on the time spent with family blah blah blah, but I got the coolest gift for Christmas and right now that’s what I’d prefer to focus on.

See, I got my book.  Published.

It turns out that my father and my brother are crazy (I understand that my sister may have been in on it as well)  and they decided to publish my book for me.  So they edited and formatted and designed a cover and all the other stuff that you do when you’re publishing a book (with the exception of notifying and getting input from the author for obvious reasons) and then they published it.  Look how cool it looks:

Only, you know, with a lot less glare.

But COME ON, you have to admit, that’s a cool gift.

So how as your Christmas? Did you get what you wanted?  What you didn’t even know you wanted?  Because if not, I’m told that there are a few copies left from the big first printing run (of ten copies) I could probably even get the author to sign it for you.  Heck, I think I’m going to buy one.

Mom of the Year

I have long thought that it was not a coincidence that a church that encourages big families doesn’t allow alcohol.

(I would have started drinking early today friends, really, really early.)

I’m not sure I’m going to make it to Christmas.

And now, in the interest of not writing a completely downer post, here are some pictures of the Baby with his birthday presents (these photos were all taken in the upstairs hallway because the Princess was confined to her room for the day but we didn’t want her to completely miss the festivities):

(That’s right, I bought him tools.  He couldn’t be happier.)

Oh, You Wanted Something Permanent?

I got some comments with my last post that cereal (two FULL bags of cereal that I BOUGHT!) wasn’t really that big of a deal, it wasn’t permanent after all, it could just be vacuumed up (and by “just” here we mean with at least three separate vacuumings.)

And so, for your viewing pleasure, I give you the Sharpie artwork: (All artwork was produced by the Baby.)

102_1371 102_1372 102_1374 Yes, that’s Sharpie on the carpet too. 102_1375 102_1376 And on the carpet there. 102_1377 102_1379 102_1381

And that’s just the walls (and carpet) there’s also this: 102_1380 this:102_1370

and this:102_1383 And these: 102_1384 102_1385 And my personal favorite, the hearth:102_1382

I just don’t bother to get mad about the Sharpie anymore.

No, I don’t just have markers lying around the house all the time, 90% of the time I can not figure out where he got the marker that he’s using, but if there’s one in the building he’ll find it (last week he found 2 (TWO!) within the first five minutes of being in church.)

P.S. All walls with Sharpie on them were painted within the last year.

The End is Near

I hope you have your food storage in order because you’re going to need it.  Soon. 

How soon? You ask.

Well, no one knows the day or the hour but I’ve been watching the signs and I’d say you’d better make sure you have enough Morning Moo for the family within the next few days, a week at the most.

How do I know? Well, let me tell you.

I went hiking today. And if that’s not a sign of the end of days I don’t know what is.

For those of you who don’t know me very well or who haven’t known me for more than a year, let me ‘splain.  I’m not really what you would call the outdoorsy type.  I was raised with the belief that mankind had been through thousands of years of technological advances so that I wouldn’t have to sleep on the ground, or share my meals with the flies or *ahem* cook over an open flame (my father was resistant even to grilling) and so that I could have things like indoor plumbing and computers.  And that’s a belief that I proudly held for years.

Until this year when I made a resolution to take my family, my kids specifically, on some kind of vacation this year.  To begin with I was thinking Disney and then I looked up prices for Disney.  So then I was thinking … I don’t know, something else but well, frankly I couldn’t afford that either.  You know what I could afford?  Camping.  So I took a deep breath; got off my high horse (figuratively as I’ve never actually ridden a horse) and took the kids camping.  We’ve been twice and with the notable exception of the lantern attack it’s gone really well.  Well enough that we were planning on going again this weekend, to a campground that’s far(ish) away, for two nights.  This is serious commitment people!

Unfortunately, the Infantile Delinquent choose Wednesday night to spend puking and Thursday to be feverish and snuggly (which is semi-delightful for a mom but mostly really sad.) Not to be outdone, The Baby spent the majority of Thursday night screaming and  when Sean broke down and took him in to the ER (at about 2:30 this morning) we discovered that he had two enormous ulcers running down his throat (apparently this is somewhat common and not a sign of anything other than a lot of pain for the next few days).  We got him some meds and his pain seems to be fairly well managed but there wass no way I was taking him camping, especially not someplace far(ish) from home, with something like that going on.

So camping’s out at least for tonight, but my kids have just been sitting around the house for three weeks.  And while that’s really short for a summer break (as previously discussed) it’s plenty of time for the intake of Suite Life on Deck to reach critical levels.  I had to get them out of the house.  I had to get out of the house.  And because Sean hasn’t been paid in about a month (and because I’m cheap and we had already paid for a campsite that we’re not using) it had to be something free.

Walking’s free.

So I took my two oldest kids and we hiked.  We did the Silver Lake loop and just like the reviews I read, it was steep (and that sucked) but actually, it wasn’t too bad.  The kids whined a fair amount and they were each reduced to tears at least once, but I figure that’s about par for the course.  It’s four(ish) miles and we did it in a little under three hours and no one died or even ended up very seriously maimed.  So altogether I’m calling it a win.

But seriously, if I were you I’d make sure I had my affairs in order.  Just in case.

________________________________________

Since you asked:

102_1171 If you look close you can see the cut from the lantern-> 102_1170102_1168 Poor sick Baby 102_1177

Would You Like a List of My Grievances?

I don’t have one.  I don’t even really have any grievances.  I just haven’t really been up to… contact.

But I have been thinking a lot.

I have a friend, a gal I grew up with (she was about three years older than me but she had a little sister who was my age and I had sisters her age and her family was in the ward, you know the drill) who died last weekend.  Of the flu.  No, not the swine flu, just the plain old flu.  She had three sons 9,6,and 3.  What do you say about that?

I have the same stinking back pain.  Again.  (Still not pregnant.)  And every time I try to stand I feel like the muscles in my back somehow forgot how to hold me upright.

We’re still planning on trying to move but there are still all these people in my house who keep eating, and wearing clothes and peeing in the toilets (and let’s face it, on the floor) and … And it’s difficult.

Sean has been very helpful and overall fantastic about all the chores we have for the selling the house prep.

The Princess turned 9.  Isn’t she amazing and gorgeous?

New Image

Isn’t that cake amazing and gorgeous?  My sister made it.  It was delicious too.

My friend Annie, who’s also amazing and gorgeous see: (I couldn’t help it, it’s my favorite picture of her.  Ok Fine,) came over to help me with the birthday party we had for the Princess.  She came right in and took over, doing the hair and make-up of five 9ish year olds.  By the end of the party, heck five minutes into the party, she was their god.

Me?  I was their plaything:me

The Infantile Delinquent turned 3.

I just love (and by love I mean loathe) having a three year old.

But I have to admit he does rock pretty freakin’ hard:ike

And now I’m all blogged out.  Adieu.

A Post About YOU! Oh, No sorry, That’s U.

My very dear bloggy friend bythelbs did a letter post.  And then she asked if we all wanted to do letter posts too and being the sheep that I am I said I did.  So she assigned me a letter.  The letter U to be exact.  And while coming up with ten things I like that start with the letter U may not be the easiest thing I’ve ever done it is, well… Oh enough with the intro already.

Underwear.  Or unders as we call them here in the Wonderland.  Because once one of the Wonderkids is in unders that means that they’re not in diapers anymore.  And that makes us all happy.  (I’ll also include here Underoos.  if I had a scanner I’d insert a great picture that I have of myself Christmas morning of probably, 1982ish, in my Wonder Woman Underoos that I wore daily everywhere I went.  Sadly, I don’t have a scanner so we’re going to move on ok?)

Ukulele.  Actually, I really am a legitimate fan of the ukulele, my dad has one, has had my whole life, and some of my fondest memories of my childhood are of nights that he would get it down and play it.

Oh and here’s a youtube video of a guy playing “while my ukulele gently weeps”.  Because who can resist that? 

Umbrella.  I love the rain.  I grew up in a land of frequent, amazing, violent storms and I always loved them.   Which makes the fact that I live in this rain forsaken desert (except for last week) all the sadder.  I miss my entire summers of “hazy hot and humid with a chance of thundershowers later in the afternoon.”

Urgent.  It may be a little bloodthirsty of me but I love a good emergency at work.  I like the adrenaline rush, I like the feeling that what I’m doing actually makes a difference, I like knowing that I’m doing what I do better than I did even six months ago; and I don’t really get any of that taking out tonsils.

Upside-down.  I like to see things from a different perspective.  Some of you may have seen pictures of me at the top of the Stratosphere in Las Vegas (heck, some of you saw me there in person) and while I was there, this is what I did. I know the two pictures look almost identical but if you look closely (at anything other than me) you’ll see that they’re not.  It’s just that I spent most of my time there in that position and I could have stayed there all day.  It was the whole city from a new angle.  I love that.  (And yes, the little sign next to me does say “Do Not Lean On Glass”  I wasn’t leaning on the glass I was leaning on the frame.  Give me a break will ya?)

Ubiquitous.  Because who doesn’t love Angela Lansbury?

Uniform.  Because who doesn’t love a guy in uniform?

Oh wait…

Underdogs.  I know it’s not PC but I can’t help it,  I grew up in DC, I’ll always be a Redskins fan.

Urban.  I’m a city girl.  I”ve never ridden a horse or touched a cow and I’m not that sad about that.  The smallest town I’ve ever lived in was Provo and I’m gonna be honest, it kinda freaked me out (that may have been more about the fact that it was Provo than the size of the town but be that as it may…) My in-laws, a lot of them, are small town people and I think that’s great.  But I just can’t function properly in a town where the only pizza place is closed at 8:05 on a Saturday night. It’s not that I’m going to order the pizza,  I just like to have the option.

Uh.  I give up.

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