Of Course There’s an App For That

I’m writing this post from the wordpress app on my iTouch because, of course, there’s an app for that. I also have an app that let’s me play scrabble with my friends (two as a matter of fact). And one that let’s me text (and make phone calls apparently). I have an app that makes the vuvuzela noise that was all the rage during the world cup (and that I intended to remove I just haven’t gotten around to that yet).

I have an app that tells me to exercise, or at least lays out workouts for me. And another where I keep my shopping lists.

I find that there’s a hierarchy to my apps. My favorites, facebook, scrabble, email, my contacts and my indispensable datebook not to mention the IMDb app (how did I ever make it through any TV shows or movies before I had the IMDb app?) all live on the first page of my touch. There’s also a hierarchy associated with the importance that I think my apps should be given even if they’re not. For example, I have both my scripture and my LDS study materials (scriptures plus the latest conference talks and the relief society/priesthood book and the SS student manual) apps on the front page. I don’t open either one except at church and there it’s pretty much always the study materials (I bring my scriptures but somehow can’t manage to bring my RS book) but I just don’t feel right about either erasing or even relegating the scriptures. (As if the Lord’s going to check my iPod to determine my spiritual status.)

Less interesting or at least less frequently used apps are on the second page. That’s where you’ll fund the link to the app store (oddly enough) and the Jillian Micheals app (I’m not sure I love it although I used it for my workout Monday and boy howdy was I sore on Tuesday!) and the mapmyrun app (worthless on the touch, probably great on the phone).

And then there’s the third page. Talk about losers. I relegated the stocks app (that I can’t figure out how to get rid of) to the back as soon as I got my touch (and realized that I couldn’t delete that one). I’ve got the pocket vuvuzela on there and some drawing app that I only downloaded in a vain attempt to find something to distract the Pea while he was getting stitches.

And then there’s the Holy Grail of app placement, the bottom row. The row that appears on every page. On the bottom row I have my music, photos, pandora and… hmmmm, I can’t remember what the 4th one is. Which is a fairly conclusive indicator that it ought not to be there and yet…

The hierarchy isn’t absolute. I have a few apps, netflix for example, that by rights should be in the first page (because seriously, I can watch any of their watch instantly shows instantly on my itouch. Hello Friday Night Lights.) But what do I take off there? I could move the calculator or the sudoku, I don’t use either one all that often but moving an app presents a whole new set if problems. Suddenly I can’t find things where they should be, everything looks a little but wrong and nothing’s quite how it should be. New placement takes a lot of getting used to. And so the sudoku’s cushy placement is maintained (bottom row, inside left) despite the fact that haven’t sudokued for quite some time.

What’s scary to me is how dependent I’ve become. I mean it when I say that that I can’t make it through a dhow without my IMDb. The fact that I couldn’t quite place dr. Chang from this week’s episode of House (Lane from Gilmore Girls) world have driven me crazy. But in the plus side at least my addiction is cheap, I (almost) never pay for apps. But I am always looking for more.

So what are your favorite apps? What apps could you not live without?

Party Girls

“Hey Alison, I’m having a party this weekend I was wondering if you could come?”

“Um, yeah probably, when is it?”

“Saturday at noon”

“Yeah, that should be fine. What’s the party for? Is it your birthday or something?”

“Oh no, I just have some candles/lingerie/tupperware that I wanted to show you.”

“Oh.” And just like that we’ve gone from Yea, I’ve been invited to a party! to How the heck can I get out of this party high pressure sales situation? (You can call it whatever you want but no matter how you slice it, you trying to sell me something is not a party.) And then it’s, “Aren’t these candles great? I’m not really that into candles actually You know, with a product as great as this you should do more than just buy them I should…burn them?, you should sell them to your friends! Not if I want to continue to have friends These candles are so great there’s not really any selling involved, they literally sell themselves then what is it you’ve spent the last hour doing?. You can be the president of your own company, you can make so much money in your free time So much money? doubtful. Free Time? , it’s just like getting paid to go to parties No, no it’s not…”

Now you want me not only to buy but you want me to sell as well?!

If there’s one thing I hate more than being pressured into buying something that I neither need nor want it’s selling. Honestly, I’d rather stab myself in the eye.

I know, I know, times are tough we’re all just trying to make a living and feed our families and all that jazz.  But well, times are tough and I’m having enough trouble making a living and feeding my family without having to spend spend time defending my pocketbook at a “party”.

Which reminds me, I still need to raise another $65.

The One Where I’m a Dangerous Part of the Counter Culture

Before We Begin: There is still one copy of On The Table (my book) available. If you’re interested follow this link and not only will you get a great book, you’ll help a great cause.

I’ve never really thought of myself as particularly rebellious. Sure, I’ve had my moments, mostly in high school, but even then my rebellion was relatively tame. I’ve never smoked anything, I’ve never dunk anything alcoholic, I’ve never even used someone else’s prescription. And these days I don’t feel rebellious at all. Look at me, I’ve been married for 12 years, I have four kids (which is, admittedly, more than the national average but not astoundingly so), I drive a minivan for Pete’s sake!

All that being said…

I have a problem. Today I’m supposed to go take a test. I’m not worried about the test, I’m pretty sure that I could sleep through it and still pass. It’s a pre-req for nursing but since I’m not actually going to start nursing school in this decade (that’s a post for another day) I don’t actually HAVE to take it today except that I’m scheduled to do so and changing the schedule now is problematic, not to mention that they’ll charge me a penalty. Sean’s home from work today so that’s not a problem. It’s just that, well…

This is what the handbook says: “All students must wear appropriate attire to the skills test. Scrubs, hair tied back, watch on, no dangling jewelry and must have closed toes shoes.” That’s pretty standard and too hard to comply with. However, the recording when you call to schedule is a little more … specific. It includes things like not having visible tattoos, not having any facial or tongue piercings, not having spiked hair and not having any unnatural hair colors.

I’m good with the tattoos. I don’t have any visible or not. Likewise, I have no piercings on my face or my tongue (I do still have a mostly patent hole in my ear cartilage but I don’t wear an earring in there and somehow I don’t think that it’s going to be too much of a problem). I don’t usually spike my hair and I can certainly make a point of not doing so today.

However, my hair currently looks like this:


Fuchsia’s a natural color right?

I wonder if I can get away with wearing a hat?

This Message is Brought to you By…

I think that we’re all pretty used to product placement by this point.  We watch the painful “not-commercials” peppered throughout “Biggest Loser” where the contestants oh so casually discuss the merits of sugar free gum or multi-vitamins.  We see the cars that our favorite characters drive on “Bones” or “Burn Notice” and hear them only slightly more casually list the features that they love about their cars.  We notice, we turn to whoever we’re watching with and say “hey did you catch that commercial that we just watched?” (At least I do.)  And who hasn’t noticed that just about every character in every movie, televisions show, reality show, you name it, uses an iPhone?

However, today I noticed that we’ve reached a new level.  While watching some commercials today (yes, I was watching commercials, I happened upon “River Monsters” which I don’t DVR but I always watch if I find it, it’s the best fishing show ever) first I noticed a Gillette commercial in which some guy holds out his iPhone to show the other guy an animation of the “irritating tug and pull” that results from the use of regular razors.  It’s quick, it’s not the in your face advertising that we get with some of the product placement on television shows but still.  And then the very next commercial was for University of Phoenix.  And in that commercial were prominently displayed and iPad and a macbook.  Really?!

Have we really come to the point in which we need product placement in our commercials?

PS. I would probably have written this post on my iTouch except he went for a little swim this morning.  We don’t have a diagnosis yet, he’s in intensive care (the rice bag that we now just keep around for the inevitable dunking of some electronic gadget or other) we’ll have more information in the morning.  Pray for me.

Update: Touchy the iTouch has had a complete recovery.  I appreciate your prayers.

Ancient Chinese Proverb

If you don’t want to be the butt of someone’s joke, it’s best not to act like a butt.

The Problem With E-Bay Names and Some Other Stuff

If, for example (and this is purely hypothetical, of course) you have an e-bay name like Jesuspaidyourprice, and you send me something that involves about a hundred feet of Velcro strapping and the strapping is all jumbled up and stuck to itself and to the few parts of the item that aren’t Velcro, then I might find myself thinking something like “well He may have paid my price but He certainly didn’t pack my item because He would have made sure that it wasn’t a jumbled mess when it got to me (and He probably would have sent it in a timely manner especially after I sent Him a message about how I hadn’t slept in a week because my kid could get out of his crib and this item is supposed to be able to prevent that)”  (It works beautifully by the way.)

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My hair is currently about 8 different colors.  Most are the usual blondish reds, brownish blonds etc… but then there’s the hot pink.  It was intentional and I love it.

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I got an A on my first math test.

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I have a Chemistry test next week.  I’m a little nervous.

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The lady that charged way too much for shipping (and then assured me that it was actually going to cost her that much to ship my item) made $8.50 on the deal and then (probably because she had assured me that it would cost that much and felt guilty) refunded me $3.  Which is nice.  But at the same time I have to think “why even bother?

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Climbing is giving me really nice arms.  I find myself admiring them in the mirror while I brush my teeth and my hair.  (And, you know, when I happen to walk by a mirror and pull up my sleeve and flex.)  I’m no Michelle Obama yet, but I’m getting there.

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Why do small boys insist on accompanying everything they do with farty noises?

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I’m still slogging through Buffy but it feels a lot like slogging so I wonder why I even bother.  (I bother because I want to see “Once More With Feeling” and I don’t feel right skipping ahead.)  But we’re also now watching Angel which I quite enjoy.

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The End.

Shout Out

I’m posting this in honor of my husband who’s a long time Metallica fan.  And my cousin who is Mr. Tim.

And because I think it’s funny.

Happy Monday.

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