Putting the Wonder in Wonderland

I got the idea for this post from Fatty who talks about his superpowers with some regularity. As a matter of fact the first superpower listed here is one that we both share. (Which I thought at first might be cheating but then I figured that I didn’t care.) And so, I give you, in no particular order, a list of my superpowers.

But first to prove that I take my superheroness very seriously:

Alison Wonderland as a child

And now, with no further ado, my superpowers.

1. The ability to sleep. Rare, very rare is the night that I can’t get to sleep, but this superpower is not limited to nocturnal sleeping. I also have and almost ridiculous ability to sleep during the day, morning evening and afternoon, anytime really. And my sleeping ability is not limited to comfortable beds or couches. Yesterday I had a nap sitting up, arms folded, on a rolling stool. I’m that good. (note: the stool; was not rolling at the time. I’m not that good.) A lot of the people that I work with complain about night shifts because, although they try, they are not able to nap in preparation of the upcoming shift and they can’t sleep the day after to try to catch back up. I have no such problems. I nap in the afternoon just fine, and I can sleep for an entire day if I get the chance. And probably go ahead and sleep that night as well. I can also sleep with children next to me in the bed screaming. I don’t particularly like to and it’s not the most restful sleep that I’ve ever had, but I can do it.

2. The ability to stay awake. I no this seems like a strange one , especially listed right after the ability to sleep, but there it is. It’s probably a result of years of working night shifts but I can stay awake for 24 hours or so with no real preparation, ie: a nap ahead of time, and still function. I’m not saying that I’m still functioning at a well rested level, but I’m coherent and able to do what needs to be done. Which leads me to

3. The ability to do whatever needs to be done. This is not to be confused with the ability to do everything. I can’t do everything, a fact amply demonstrated by the current state of my house. I can however do anything provided that it needs to be done. Case in point: a few years ago my family was out growing our house, specifically our kitchen. We needed a new kitchen. So I drew up plans (by myself) I had them approved by the city and I built an addition on my kitchen. I didn’t have it built, I didn’t hire contractors, I built it. I did have help. I’m not saying I did it all by myself. But I was the primary contractor on the job. I measured, I cut, I hammered and drilled and so forth.

It should be noted that with the ability to do whatever needs to be done I do not have the ability to do whatever should be done, or whatever I’d like to have done. This is strictly a need based superpower. For example, I built an addition on my kitchen but for the past 7 or 8 months I have had an unsightly rectangular patch in my living room wall. It used to house an air conditioner, one that never worked very well and was made obsolete when we got central air. Sean, the wonderhusband, and I knocked the old unit out of the wall, no small feat, and then because you can’t just have a hole in your living room, I did all the requisite insulating and plywooding and sheetrocking but sadly, that’s where my momentum ran out. So it never got tapped, I didn’t mud it, It hasn’t been painted. Because sure, I wanted it done, I still do, but it didn’t need to be done. And until it does, I’m powerless.

4. Sarcasm. I’m working on curbing this particular ability, or at least the demonstration thereof, but rare is the moment when I can’t come up with something sarcastic to say. So rare, in fact, that I can’t think of a single time that it’s happened.

I have a few others, strong stomach (I can make it through cases at work that would leave mere mortals gagging) dealing with stressful situations (mostly due to power #3) and so forth but they’re not worth mentioning in the wake of the real superpowers listed here.

So my question is this, what’s your superpower?

9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kristina P.
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 09:19:34

    The ability to make an ass of myself in public, on a regular basis?

    [And to keep on kicking? I think that totally counts! – Al]

  2. madhousewife
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 10:35:30

    Crap, I don’t have any superpowers. 😦

  3. LisAway
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 12:48:21

    Wow! You had the whole outfit!?! I used to run down our long hallway (I lived in a trailer) in my Wonder Woman underwear (which I now like to refer to as Under Woman wonderwear).

    I can eat more baked things in one day than (most) other mortals. This superpower is awesome, practical, useful and makes me a better person. And I am never sarcastic.

  4. bythelbs
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 15:17:58

    I cannot even begin to tell you the depths of my envy for that WW outfit.

    I have a superhuman bladder–anything to avoid any possible restroom unpleasantness. I always try to use my powers for good instead of evil.

    I wish I could think of something else. Hmm… Now I’m a little sad.

  5. Flipflopmama
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 18:39:28

    I wish I had superpowers. I am in awe of your wonder.

  6. Flipflopmama
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 18:44:15

    Wait, I thought of one after reading bythelbs’ blog: I can eat lots of cookies. Ok that’s not really a super power… Okay, I got nothin after all.

  7. Melanie J
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 20:44:45

    Yeah, mine is definitely consuming massive amounts of food.

  8. robyn
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 21:17:47

    One of mine is the ability to talk incessantly. Need someone to speak? I’m your gal! Yep give me a subject and I can speak extemporaneously on just about anything. And, I can relate it to a gospel subject amazing but true. Hah!

    Good to see you again. I like the blog redesign, although it may not be new. ;o)

  9. Chris Jones
    Sep 07, 2010 @ 16:27:48

    Because the Wondergirl and I are blood, I too have superpowers.

    I have the ability to recognize when the other team has made a really outstanding play, so although I am a huge sports fanatic, I never hate on the other team.

    I have the ability to wade comfortably into an all-female gathering. Even Pampered Chef parties. I generally prefer female parties to male ones, and not just because the scenery is better. This could be because I have five Wondersisters.

    And I have the ability to convince otherwise skeptical and hardbitten people that someone cares about them.

    They’re really quite minor abilities, not really SUPER powers. My only true SUPER power is grammar. But grammar is not cool, whatever Lynne Truss says.

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