Welcome to My Home, Licking or Non?

Remember back before we shot our kids up with all kinds of immunizations for diseases that aren’t really all that dangerous and people used to have chickenpox parties. You know, little Timmy down the block would come down with the pox and all the other mothers would bring their kidlets over to play with Timmy because chicken pox are so much easier to deal with and so much less dangerous in little kids than in adults. So all these mothers would intentionally infect their kids with this disease so that they could get it over with.

Well, we went camping this weekend, something that my sister thought that I should have posted about because nobody even died or fell in the river or died or anything. And I’m happy to report that that was true, no one did die or fall in the river (which was especially amazing because we camped right by the river). But see, while it’s amazing that no one died or fell in the river there’s not really much to tell there. In fact, that’s about all there is to tell you, no one died or fell in the river. Someone dying or falling in the river actually makes a much better story. So it’s unlucky for the blog, but lucky for me and mine, that it didn’t happen.

Apparently I got distracted, where was I? Oh yes.

So we went camping and we came home a day early because it was cold up there. Really freaking cold up there. And the kids were coughing, the Infantile Delinquent especially. So we came home and he was just lying on me. And coughing.  And crying. And lying on me. And coughing. And I started to get a little worried.

So I gave him a little ibuprofen and then I took him to the instacare.

When will I learn not to do that?!!! Here’s this kid who’s been lying around, hardly able to lift his head, all day and a teaspoon of the magical elixir later he’s bouncing off the walls.  So I look like the freak mother who’s worried because her child is “sick” only he doesn’t look sick and he doesn’t act sick.

At least he was still coughing.

The doctor was very nice, she said his lungs sounded fine and that there was a good chance that what he had was the “new” flu which is what we’re calling the swine flu now because calling it swine flu is injurious to the swine and calling it H1N1 just sounds stupid.  So we have the “new” flu now but what were’ going to do when there’s a newer flu I just don’t know.  Because calling something the “newer” flu sounds even stupider than calling something H1N1.  In fact, I think there ought to be someone in charge of naming diseases.  Wouldn’t that be a great job? I would like that job.  Just think of the revenge you could exact on old boyfriends, the high school government teacher who almost failed you, that guy who cut you off on the freeway (except that I don’t really have his name.  Maybe I could cultivate a friendship with someone at the DMV…)

And now to get back to the point.

Apparently, they’re seeing a lot of people with the flu. “Flu season-like numbers” in fact. And 85% of the flu patients they’re seeing have the “new” flu. (Although how they’re getting those numbers I’m not sure since they’re not testing for it anymore, and my understanding is that they stopped testing for it because the numbers were so high. Which doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense to me but there it is.) My brother’s even (probably) got it and he didn’t even get it from my kids (although he’s got 8 of his own so he doesn’t really need mine to infect him with anything.) But the doctor told me that it’s mostly staying upper-respiratory and lingering for a while and then going away.  And the best way to deal with it is just to get lots of rest and drink lots of fluids.

But then she made a good point, she said that she’d rather get the flu now when it’s relatively mild and then when it goes around this winter and it’s killing people off she’ll be immune.

So I say come on over and I’ll have the InfaDel give you a lick (as if I could stop him). Let’s have a good old fashioned flu party.

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bythelbs
    Jun 10, 2009 @ 07:33:16

    Um, thanks. But no thanks.

    Loved this post.

  2. rita
    Jun 10, 2009 @ 09:28:15

    I have to admit when the kids (alllllll5 of of them) were little one of them came home with chicken pox, so yes, we all shared tootsie pops so that the disease wouldn’t linger longer than the two episodes…which actually happened.

    In regard to the “new flu”: When I first saw “swine” changed to “H1N1” I didn’t have my glasses on and the sound was turned down so I presumed it was then changed to the HINI (as in HINY) flu. So for weeks I went around explaining to everyone that the flu I had wasn’t the HINY flu, but just the “old” flu from last year, which was still a pain in the hiny, if you know what I mean.

    That is all.

  3. Jami
    Jun 10, 2009 @ 10:54:34

    It’s a bit of drive, but I’m all up for classic immunity-building parties.

    Your nothing to talk about posts are delightful!

  4. Migillicutty
    Jun 10, 2009 @ 12:00:29

    That was really funny, I love it when you get off topic.

  5. madhousewife
    Jun 10, 2009 @ 13:04:04

    I prefer to expose myself to disease through mindful neglect.

  6. Susan M
    Jun 10, 2009 @ 17:08:06

    I’ve missed you. Glad you’re posting again.

    The flu can kill me (diabetic) (or at least send me to the hospital) (although it never has) so I try to stay away from it.

  7. goldilocks
    Jun 11, 2009 @ 06:44:29

    hi mom come home!

  8. zstitches
    Jun 13, 2009 @ 23:03:56

    This was a very entertaining post.

    I’m so glad nobody died or fell in the river (even if it would have made for a more dramatic post.)

    I think I have the H1N1. Oh, I mean the Hiny flu. Does breastfeeding a baby all day and then staying up until 2 AM every night count as getting lots of rest? (Is that possibly maybe the reason why I’ve had it for 3 weeks and still have it?)

    My neighbor apparently just got through a round of chickenpox amongst her kids — I think she said 5 of the 8 had it. I don’t know if they skip all their immunizations or just that one; I was a little afraid to ask. If you think about it, a chicken pox party is just do-it-yourself immunizing.

  9. Brillig
    Jun 14, 2009 @ 19:17:12

    Okay, wow. As common as it apparently is, you’re the first person I “know” who’s dealt with the “new flu.” (See? I didn’t know they were calling it that. Where have I been?)

    And don’t worry– my kids TOTALLY do the same thing. I was certain that one of my dudes was on his way to the hospital, he was so deliriously ill. And then we arrive at the doc’s office and he’s bouncing off the walls. Doc says, “well, if he were acting like this and this, I’d say he might need some time in hospital, but since he’s acting fine, I guess he’s okay.” Wait! No! He WAS acting like “this and this”! I promise I’m not the crazy hypochondriac mom! Ugh. hey, at least I’m not alone. We can be crazy hypochondriac moms together, okay?

  10. Brittany Marie
    Jun 16, 2009 @ 14:53:55

    Hmmm… I think I’ll pass.

    But I’ll take you up on the naming of diseases. I call the honor of renaming the hemmoroid.

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