Becoming a Twit

I don’t twit. Or tweet.  Or whatever it is one does on Twitter. And in truth, I’ve never even been to twitter.com.  (I tried to go in anticipation of this post, doing my research you know, but the computer I’m on has some serious parental controls and I can’t get there.)  But my understanding is that it’s a lot like the status updates on Facebook (and heaven knows, I Facebook) only you’re supposed to update then several times a day  (and when people do that on Facebook it’s just annoying).

But I love the status updates on Facebook (do you think I could use the word Facebook a few more times in this post?  I’ll try.)  I especially love coming up with interesting, obscure, but not too obscure status updates.  Unfortunately, I now find myself unable to think in more than 140 characters.

Seriously, I spent all day Monday thinking in status updates.  Am I the only one who does this?

Here’s a short list of the updates I thought of but didn’t post because I was building, and who can be on the computer all day anyway?

*Alison Wonderland is well aware of what her underwear says about her.

*Alison Wonderland is delighted with the beautiful weather.

*Alison Wonderland is spending some quality time with her saw, don’t tell the nail gun.

*Alison Wonderland is still singing the theme song to Phineas and Ferb.

*Alison Wonderland wonders if she is the only person in the neighborhood not celebrating the “holiday”.

*Alison Wonderland is less than delighted by the fact that her one year old shares her love of power tools.

*Alison Wonderland is really glad her children are washable.

*Alison Wonderland thinks that maybe she should take the metal saw blade out of the saw for cutting through wood.

*Alison Wonderland needs a new wood cutting blade for her saw.

*Alison Wonderland is cutting wood with the metal cutting blade, screw the recommendations.

*Alison Wonderland wishes her children would stop messing with her tools.

*Alison Wonderland needs a good long screw.

And at that point I thought it’s a darn good thing I don’t tweet.


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16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. LisAway
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 03:23:58

    Oh, if I read something like that from you I’d block you, man. I mean, if I tweeted and you tweeted that would get you blocked. Especially if I hadn’t read your previous updates. And I didn’t know you very well. And I had lost my imagination (it CAN happen).

  2. Hel
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 05:01:39

    I was looking for a good long screw the other day. I wanted to use my Phillips Head.

  3. diana banana
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 06:05:31

    i totally think in status update mode….which is why i ALSO tweet. I like to make sure that everyone I know is annoyed with me at one point of the day or another.

  4. bythelbs
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 07:21:53

    LOL, diana! And Allison!

  5. bythelbs
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 07:22:14

    I mean, Alison!

  6. Kristina
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 07:50:55

    Twitter makes me angry.

  7. Janelle
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 07:58:41

    What in the….

    If my husband knew that women were talkin dirty on twitter he would sign me up. Maybe this is what they’re insinuating when people say they are Twitterpated.

    Hel – totally funny.

  8. Jami
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 09:18:10

    Oh dear. My. Well…bless your heart.

  9. madhousewife
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 10:26:05

    I think I have a Twitter account. But I got one without really understanding what it was all about, and I don’t remember my username or password. Or, frankly, whether or not I actually got the Twitter account or just thought about it.

  10. E
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 15:03:21

    I don’t get twitter. People that use facebook like twitter get blocked by me. That having been said I do think in status updates. I’m just not so full of myself as to think that anyone would care to read about me all day long. (Which is not to say that I didn’t enjoy reading about your day….one time, on purpose.)

  11. flip flop mama
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 21:26:51

    I do sometimes think in status updates, but don’t post as many as I think. The thought of Twitter just annoys me.

  12. Melanie J
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 23:28:31

    Dude, I’d read your tweets and your tweets only.

  13. Kristina
    Apr 23, 2009 @ 09:38:16

    My latest Tweet?

    Where has Alison gone? I have missed her, and want to do lunch with her again.

  14. Jen
    Apr 24, 2009 @ 21:43:09

    That cracked me up. And I don’t think I think in status updates. And if I did, I’d never be in a position to update it anyway.

    Although now that you’ve shown me how to make my husband happy in under 140 characters, who knows?

  15. annie valentine
    Apr 25, 2009 @ 08:29:05

    I don’t tweet, and I hate MMB’s new wannabe facebook face.

  16. Melissa
    Apr 26, 2009 @ 22:24:30

    Ha ha – this is just the reason you should tweet. or twitter. or whatever you’d call it.

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