Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

I went to the store today to buy an ink cartridge.  One single ink cartridge.  That was all I wanted.

I picked it up and we headed for the checkout.  Where I was greeted by:

“Hi, how are you doing today?”

“Fine”

“Did you find everything you needed?”

“Yes.”

“Did you need any stamps, ink or paper?”

“Just the ink that I’m getting.”

“Did you want to put that on your store credit card?”

“No.”

“Do you have a store credit card?”

“No.”

“Do you want a store credit card?”

“No.”

“Is that debit or credit?”

“Debit.”

“Did you want cash back?”

“No.”

“Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“No.  No. NO!  Just stop asking me questions!  You’re as bad as my kids, just let me leave the store in peace!”

Is it just me or is “customer service” becoming more and more like customer pestering everyday?

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17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Annette
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 15:03:18

    This is why I like self checkout at the grocery store. No one is bugging me.

  2. Kristina
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 15:23:03

    It’s all about the upsell. Boo.

  3. robyn
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 17:21:51

    It’s kind of like someone in marketing said “you know I really liked 20 questions as a child.” Aaaaack.

    I love self checkout!!!! (can you tell?)

    I try to not make eye contact. It keep the questions at a minimum, but totally goes against my “try to not objectify everyone” goal.

  4. Jen
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 18:24:27

    Ah yes, the upsell. But there really should be a limit to how many things they can try to up-sell to you in one checkout visit! This kind of thing drives me nuts.

  5. bythelbs
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 18:59:08

    I actually feel sorry for those cashiers who have to go through the whole spiel. You know they never really expect anyone to go for it. With some, you REALLY know because they rush through it so fast, never making eye contact or pausing long enough for you to even respond.

    But don’t get me wrong, I still feel more sorry for all of us who have to listen to the spiel.

  6. Janelle
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 20:02:45

    I can always tell that I’m giving my “I’m annoyed” face when I get all the questions because I see the checkers reflecting it back to me.

    I wonder where I can get a No Soliciting necklace just like the one I have on my door. AW made me a custom no soliciting sign last summer that said,

    No Soliciting
    That includes you summer salesperson.

    So what we need now is a necklace or button that says
    No soliciting
    That includes you Staples checkout person.

  7. annie valentine
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 22:33:24

    I bought a pregnancy test yesterday (negative) and tried to do self-check out so no one would stare. Then I accidentally rang it in twice so the guy had to come over and unscan it for me.

    I know this has nothing to do with the upsell, but it still totally sucked.

  8. Jami
    Mar 15, 2009 @ 08:11:28

    Nags.

  9. JIllybean
    Mar 15, 2009 @ 09:20:04

    When the cashier asks if you were able to find everything OK, have you ever told them no?
    They get this “deer in the headlights” look, because at that point, they have no idea what to do.

  10. Mother of the Wild Boys
    Mar 15, 2009 @ 13:56:48

    Bwa-haa-haa! 😀 You crack me up!

    And I love Janelle’s idea of the No Soliciting necklace…I would totally buy that (as long as nobody came to my door to sell it to me!)

  11. LisAway
    Mar 15, 2009 @ 23:16:05

    Exactly. There’s no “service” in pestering your customers. In Poland they never say anything. Usually they just glare at you like, “how dare you make me scan your stuff, jerk.” (this is getting less common though). I’m not sure which type of “service” I prefer. . .

  12. Brillig
    Mar 16, 2009 @ 11:54:12

    Like Annette said, I’m a big fan of the self check-out. Even if it won’t save me time, I’d just much rather not have to deal with PEOPLE! Hahaha.

  13. suburbancorrespondent
    Mar 16, 2009 @ 20:57:36

    Ha! I love that quote! But, as a retail person in a chain store, I can tell you that we are required to do all that, or we get in trouble. I can tell people are just glad to walk away from my register after being bombarded with info about our discount cards, offers of magazine subscriptions, and requests for their e-mail addresses. Whew!

  14. Susan M
    Mar 17, 2009 @ 07:24:20

    The best reply to “do you want a store credit card” is “I think I already have one.”

    It always cracks me up at the grocery store when they ask me if I want help out to the car with my groceries about 3 times.

  15. Jessica A.
    Mar 17, 2009 @ 07:57:12

    I work at walmart and they actually threaten our jobs if we don’t do that, so yeah sorry about that, we hate having to ask everybody too…

    PS I always use self-checkout if I can for this very reason.

  16. madhousewife
    Mar 17, 2009 @ 21:56:17

    Re Susan’s comment – I was at the Safeway the other day, and the checker asked the lady in front of me (as the Safeway checkers always ask everyone), “Do you need any help out today?” and the crotchety old lady said, without any humor whatsoever, “No. I’m old, but I’m not that old.” When it was my turn and the checker asked me if I wanted help out, I was sorely tempted to answer the same way, but the poor woman had been so embarrassed by the previous customer’s response, I felt I just shouldn’t. I’d still like to, one of these days. Maybe when I’m feeling extra-crotchety.

  17. How to Get Six Pack Fast
    Apr 15, 2009 @ 08:06:20

    Hey, cool tips. Perhaps I’ll buy a glass of beer to the man from that forum who told me to go to your blog 🙂

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