Slippery Slope

I know that the cool thing on Facebook is to have as many friends as possible.  I know that there are people who judge others by the number of friends they have.  “She only has like 60 friends, what a loser.”  I have 42.  That’s a lot.  In fact I think that may be too many.

I use facebook mainly to keep in touch with my sisters (and to play scrabble with bythelbs).  I’m on there everyday but I don’t really spend a lot of time.  I don’t have a ‘lil green patch (that I know of), I’m not in the mafia, I don’t even take the quizes anymore.

Why not?

Honestly I have no idea.

But I do know that every time I get another friend request I cringe.

I think most of it is the scrolling.

See, I actually want to see the new pictures my sister uploaded.  I am interested in what my mom’s status is.  But if I have too many friends I’m not going to see that Elizabeth is not cleaning the vomit out of her car because there will be too much crap in the way and to see them I’m going to have to *gasp* scroll down.  And while I love my old high school buddies I don’t really have a vested interest in the fact that one of them is blurry eyed from having her eyes dilated.  It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that… Ok, I’ll admit it, I don’t really care.

So I get these friend requests and I don’t want to snub these people.  Armando was one of my favorite people when I was in high school, and Jeff from work, we have a great time.  At work.

It’s not that I’m anti, I’m just not pro.

What I really need on Facebook is another option.  Maybe I don’t want to be constantly updated on your status, but I would like to hear a little about you.  Rather than being friends can we just be aquaintences?


18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kristina
    Jan 20, 2009 @ 22:03:37

    Good call. I have added people from a message board I belong to that I wish I didn’t. I just don’t know them at all. And I have no idea how many friends I have on there, and truly, I don’t care.

    Except for you, of course. If you were my friend, I would care.

  2. Steph @ Diapers and Divinity
    Jan 20, 2009 @ 22:36:25

    I went through and deleted some of my “friends” (random elementary school buddies or my girlfriends’ siblings) for sanity’s sake. It doesn’t notify them if you do that, and I figure they’ll never even notice I disappeared. I hit the ignore button a LOT, and I never accept any kind of invitation for games, groups, birthday calendars, etc. Too much crud to worry about. I feel your pain. It’s a great tool, but like many other techno-tools, it can suck the life out of you if you let it. Good luck.

  3. Jami
    Jan 20, 2009 @ 22:42:12

    There is this little arrow thingy on the right side of people’s updates. If you click it you get an option of “less of Joe” or “more of Joe.” The details are fuzzy, but I know you can have favorites.

    So do you want to be friends on facebook?

  4. Julie
    Jan 20, 2009 @ 22:45:28

    Add everyone and then on the right of your news feed, you can select an option that says, “Show less of this person” or “Show more of this person,” Then you don’t HAVE to look at anything a person you hate does…. It works wonders!

  5. bythelbs
    Jan 20, 2009 @ 23:28:10

    I was going to say what Julie said. My husband has an obnoxious sibling that I can’t really delete, but I just opted to never get any status updates from.

    Just promise that you will never quit FB because I just live for our Scrabble games. Live for them, I tell you!

  6. julie
    Jan 20, 2009 @ 23:58:34

    I only have used FB to get in touch with old church and school friends. I try to keep my number to min., but I also have some friends from CM and its been a bit easier to leave messages that way. I don’t do games there execpt twilight trivia.

  7. LisAway
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 00:11:08

    Before I got into blogging I was on facebook all day. It’s how I found out that my IQ is 120 (very accurate, I’m sure). Then I discovered blogging and now I only get on facebook once a week at the very most to add the people who’ve sent me invitations to be their friend recently.

    I also was planning on only adding close friends and family, but now it’s really ending up being everyone that recognizes my name adds me. It’s also really hard because so many of the RMs who served in Poland add me, and I don’t remember them by name at all (and really, the pictures are crap for really being able to see who someone is, especially if you have no idea to start with) but I’ve gotten to know and love so many missionaries and spent a great deal of time in church kitchens laughing with them, that I feel I MUST add them, even if I’m not sure if this person is one of them!

    I would really like there to be a message that pops up whenever anyone wants to add me that says, “Please tell me how I know you!” I had that for my status for a week and the next 5-6 people that added me said things like, “I served in Krakow in 2004” or “Your husband made me those CDs of Jesus the Christ” or something and sometimes it helps me remember, and other times it just makes me feel less lame about adding someone.

    I love that I leave post length comments on your blog every week or so.

  8. Jen
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 00:37:57

    I am such a Facebook Flunkie. I only go there when I get a friend request, and I’ve been known to decline. Especially if they are/have been students from the high school. Yes, I feel a little bad, but I never see what anyone’s doing anyway. And I can’t see there’s any quality interaction on Facebook, which bugs me. I’ll take a blog any day over the lame announcement that someone just took their dog to the bathroom. (Do you suppose they think we really care???)

  9. diana banana
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 06:10:45

    i totally know who’s status that was….aren’t i cool?

  10. madhousewife
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 11:32:37

    I still have under 100 friends, but there are probably too many there. Most of them hardly ever update, though, so it isn’t too overwhelming.

    When I see people with 800 friends, I wonder how anyone could possibly know so many people.

  11. Alison @ hairlinefracture
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 13:13:56

    I am avoiding Facebook. I already waste enough time on blogs.

  12. Diary
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 13:15:12

    I love facebook and love my 250 friends, who I know personally and have dear relationships with. (It sounds silly but it is true) I dont add people I dont know and will ask how I know someone before adding them(which if I have to ask I usually dont add them.)

    I have had a full life with many locations and adventures where I met and loved many people. I have wondered where they were an how they were and if they have families.

    Facebook does it for me. To me it is how heaven is going to be. You get to connect with all the people you have ever loved and keep updated on their lives when you have time. Then you can decide to comment or not and no one gets mad, we all just know how to keep in touch and connect with each other. I love it and it is heaven to me.

  13. Dollie
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 15:40:54

    I am not sure how many friends I have but I totally agree with you. I don’t add everyone and Micah and I have an account together so we add some of his mission companions or what not but that is about it. I don’t think I have ever looked at how many friends someone has.

  14. debbie
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 17:09:56

    I’m not on Facebook because this blogging thing is too much of an obsession for me by itself. My husband is now. And my teens are helping him set guidelines so he doesn’t get updates on all of his friends. Teens are great things to have around.

  15. E
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 17:10:28

    Yeah, I just learned how to turn people off a few weeks ago. Before that I deleted people. But turning off is better, for those really prolific people that you might want to check in on once a year or so.

    Obviously, no one would want to miss my vomit update!

  16. E
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 17:13:23

    I find though, that if I’ve ever had a real relationship with someone, I actually do like to see their updates. It’s the people that I don’t really remember who seem to be the most prolific and the least interesting to me.

  17. the letter Bee
    Jan 21, 2009 @ 21:25:02

    I still haven’t even looked at Facebook. What is the big deal with it? There is a status thingy on there? I thought Facebook was more of a networking thingy for people who need dates. But I’ve been wrong before.

  18. robyn
    Jan 22, 2009 @ 08:55:37

    And you’ve just explained why I don’t have a facebook account. bleh.

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