Alison Wonderland and the Cherry Tree

I’ve read posts on a few different blogs about people, the authors mostly (but I’m not one to name names) who lie all the time for no reason. I have a sister who spent most of high school needing boots. (Because she was knee deep in bull- oh forget it, if I have to explain it to you , it’s not worth it.)  I work with people who have no problem telling you exactly what you want to hear regardless of the truth.

I’m not judging.

But those people are all going to HELL!

I’m absolutely kidding, I do not, repeat DO NOT, think that.  But it’s funny to me that I’m the exact opposite.

I’m not saying I’ve never lied.  I have.  I even called in sick to work once when I was not sick.

It just does not come naturally to me, I don’t think that way.

This character trait was something that my parents exploited mercilessly when I was a teenager, once even telling me that I was not to see, talk to or have any contact with the guy that I had been dating for the previous two years.  A guy who was my best friend’s brother, a guy who was nineteen and could drive and who I absolutely could have found a way to see without the knowledge of my parents.  But I didn’t.  Why?  Too stinking honest.

I can’t even tell the little harmless lies.  If I don’t like your outfit and you ask me if I do, I’ll really try to be kind, but I’m not going to tell you that I think it’s great.  For some reason I just can’t.  Haircuts, babies, shoes whatever, I’m either going to say something like, “well, it’s a big change, maybe I just need to get used to it” (which could very well be true) or I’m going to change the subject.

Now anyone who’s read more than one post here knows that I am extremely sarcastic and that I am even, on very rare occasions, given to exaggeration.  That’s totally different.  As long as I know no one will believe it I’ll tell tales all day, but I can’t even be a part of practical jokes because you have to make someone believe something that’s not true.

One of the docs I work with was saying the other day that he was afraid of trying to keep control of his daughter over the next few years because “she was so devious.”  He then launched into an exceedingly boring story which I will spare you (you’re welcome) but the end result was that he told his son who was answering the phone at their home to tell his wife, whom he presumed to be on the phone, that he (the doc) had already left when he was in fact standing right there.  It didn’t end up being his wife on the phone so none of it mattered but this daughter, who’s nine said “dad, you could have just gone outside and then it would have been true.”

His going outside  of course doesn’t change the intent but it does make the story technically true.  He thinks that this is a sign of deviousness.  I think it’s a sign of congenital honesty.  Someone  who doesn’t mind lying has no problem with the story as it is.  Someone like me (and I think, this daughter) MUST make the story true.  It just grates on the nerves otherwise.

I don’t mean by any of this that I am somehow just naturally more spiritual or better than anyone  I’M NOT!  (well, except those liars…  Kidding! Geez!)  (And you know you can trust that because I’m incapable of lying.)  It’s really just that I think it’s interesting how different people are.

That is all.

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16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. LisAway
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 00:03:56

    We are so much alike, Alison. I mention my extreme honesty jokingly on my blog now and again, but really, I am honest, and I value honesty greatly. Which isn’t to say that I don’t have any sort of secrets at all, but I feel the same way you do about it. I recommend this post about a reformed liar. Maybe you’ve already read it?

  2. Kristina
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 00:08:24

    I definitely can tell a good white lie. Usually. Except with my sort of weird coworker. I just can’t pretend that I am interested in what he is telling me.

  3. Dollie
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 00:40:51

    Haha that is why I like you. You tell it like it is. I only wish I had the guts sometimes to tell it like it is. I always love talking to you because I know if I ask a question you will be completely honest. I don’t see the point in sugar coating things.

  4. The Boob Nazi
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 01:42:09

    I can’t lie. I suck at it.
    Yay for honesty!

  5. Evitafjord
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 07:54:00

    2 Nephi 9:34. Not just going, but thrust.

  6. cheryl
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 08:29:36

    Dude. I hate lies. Hate Them. And so even in my blogging I’ve been brutally honest about stuff. I avoid subject like my marriage or our financial situations, just because there’s a difference between keepin’ it real and exposing your life to the masses. But I know if I started talking about those things, the exposure would not be good (and yet I have a happy marriage and we’re working on the financial thing). You know what I mean?

    My problem is my fear of hypocrisy. I think I hate that more than lying, although they are probably the same thing. One time in high school, I lied to my parents and drove an hour away to see my college boyfriend. After I came home, my dad asked a simple question and I collapsed in tears, confessing everything. Yeah, I didnt’ do well with the lying.

    My question is, what are these blog people lying about? Now I must investigate. Curiosity is another trait of mine…

  7. Annette
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 09:14:04

    I have a real beef with liars. I’ve been on the receiving end of some pretty nasty whoppers, and that’s led to the end of friendships–even when the lie was supposedly told because they thought it was in my best interest.

    So I go to the other extreme and CAN’T lie at all. Like you said, it can get dicey when your friend has a hideous new haircut and you’re trying to find something to say that won’t hurt feelings and is still true.

  8. JustRandi
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 12:12:37

    I am one of the world’s worst liars. My daughter, too. When she was little, she would tell a lie, and then immediately burst into tears.
    How I love that about her!

  9. JustRandi
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 12:14:57

    And I was just looking at your blog roll and how funny that Will (of Julie and Will) grew up in my ward. In fact, he and his dad were our home teachers for awhile!

    That sorta put the world’s most annoying song in motion in my brain. (It’s a Small World) Sorry, now it’s probably in your brain, too.

  10. Jaime
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 18:05:44

    I definitely can lie, but I do try not to. But I’ve found that my propensity to be very honest (in the nicest way possible) has really helped me with my kids. When I tell them that I think something is really awesome or that they did really great at something, they know I’m telling the truth because I don’t say that all time. If it was just ok I will find the positive things that I can highlight but not go on and on. So they can really trust that what I’m saying is true. And they find comfort in that.

    I’m not going to send them out the door looking stupid just because I’m afraid to tell them they look dumb. I’m not going to encourage them to try out for a solo if I know they don’t sing well enough to have a chance. And I’m not going to tell them they are a soccer star if they aren’t. Lying is easy way out but then no one will feel like you’re being sincere when you’re talking about anything. People always know where they stand with me, good or bad.

  11. Melanie J
    Dec 13, 2008 @ 18:38:42

    1. I’m with you. I just suck at l ying.

    2. I find it interesting that the doctor worries about his daughter being devious when he’s standing in front of both her and his son lying to his wife (or attempting to). Wonder where she gets it from…

  12. Alison @ hairlinefracture
    Dec 14, 2008 @ 19:13:11

    I can’t lie either. I think it’s important not to lie in front of my children–like the doctor did. I couldn’t do that.

  13. E
    Dec 14, 2008 @ 22:43:52

    Thanks, Melanie, that what I was going to say.

    Even though I don’t think I’m the sister you were referring to, I was a BIG lier in HS. And now I am so honest that I have a hard time giving compliments even when I mean them, because I’m afraid that the person will think I’m lying and that makes me very uncomfortable. This is apparently something I have grown into. It’s nice to know that can happen.

  14. bythelbs
    Dec 15, 2008 @ 21:05:53

    I’m more of a “padder of truth” than a liar.

  15. lobbie
    Dec 16, 2008 @ 01:44:40

    This is totally me! It’s ridiculous. If someone asks me something directly I can’t lie. I’m clever at avoiding certain subjects and being “diplomatic” without lying, but if someone flat-out asks….I’m hopeless. 🙂

  16. annie valentine
    Dec 23, 2008 @ 16:34:46

    I always tell my kids that, “Liars GO TO THE DEVIL!!!” Terrifies them. Jason, on the other hand, uses his professional training to wring confessions out of liars. “So, did you draw on the couch because you were really naughty, or did you just want to write your name?” They confess every time.

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