Mom, Dad, Please Don’t Read This Post

Now, we’re all girlfriends here right?

So I have to tell you about the lengths I’ll go to perpetuate my own stupidity.

It’s that time of the month for me (as if you didn’t know that, remember all the depressed posts of last week?) but good ol’ aunt flo is on her way out.  I noticed yesterday that I was running a bit low on protection (no, not that kind of protection, stay with me here girls) but I didn’t worry too much about it.  I was almost done anyway right?  So I got out of the shower this afternoon and open the drawer in my bathroom vanity and … NOTHING.  Um, ah, that’s going to be a problem.  Aunt flo’s on her way out but she isn’t gone yet.

I’m home alone with four children (I didn’t mention that my kids are off track did I?  Well, they are.)  And it’s cold and rainish and I am not taking four children to the grocery store alone to buy feminine hygiene products.  (Especially since the Pea earned the entire day in his room this morning and taking him to the store means letting him out of his room.)

So I check the upstairs bathroom, it used to be my bathroom afterall, it’s not unlikely that there will be some stray tampons in there.

Nothing.

Now, it’s been about half an hour since I got out of the shower and I’m starting to get a little desperate.  I mentally catalog the things that I did find while looking through the bathroom vanities.  I have a few options.  A breast pad, (hey, they’re made to be absorbent right?) the huge gigantic diaper like pad the hospital sends home with you when you have a baby, rolled up TP (not a good idea) or an actual diaper (I have plenty of those lying around).  Do I need to say that not one of these is a good option.

I’m reaching back under the vanity to pull out my options for a side by side comparison when I hear angels singing.  There it is.  The lone, forgotten, lost tampon.  The packaging is old but undamaged and I’m saved.

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Hey, while I have you here and we’re having this girly talk and all, I want to take a minute to plug this website.  It’s an open forum for Mormon (and other) women to talk about sex.  It’s not porny and I don’t think that it’s overly graphic and I think that it’s a great thing!  I think that as LDS girls most of us don’t really learn how to talk about sex so when we grow up and get married and then have questions (how to get the spark back, how to keep things interesting, how best to prevent UTIs…) a lot of us have no where to go.  Now we do.

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That is all, Mom and Dad, you can come back in now.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Alison @ hairlinefracture
    Nov 04, 2008 @ 18:04:21

    Saved by the tampon!

    That is a great idea for a website.

  2. Annette
    Nov 04, 2008 @ 18:21:40

    I’m so paranoid about running out that I’ve got packages and packages. Drop me a line next time. 😀

  3. Kristina
    Nov 04, 2008 @ 18:31:20

    This happened to me last month. I went through about 8 purses before I was able to find one. Hurray for lost tampons!

  4. Lisa
    Nov 04, 2008 @ 22:58:12

    That was a near miss.

    Thanks for the link to the website (I think, haven’t been there yet) my sister totally thinks the church needs to do something about educating, and feels that it’s like “don’t, don’t, don’t, and noooooow DO–and figure everything out on your own,” so I’m sure she’ll think it’s a great idea.

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