Fantasy V. Reality

So Lisa commented yesterday that she’s never seen a picture of me.  Implying that I don’t post them.  That’s not strictly true, as we saw yesterday.  There are even other pictures of me on other posts.  Here for example.  But it’s true that there aren’t a lot of them around.  That’s not me on the About the Wonderland page and my avatar is also not me.

Here’s why.

You know that morning that you get up and shower.  You get out of the shower and put on your favorite jeans and that new shirt that actually makes you look like you’re not a twelve year old boy, like there might actually be some breat tissue under there.  (C’mon, I can’t be the only A cup here)  And then you do your hair and even, gasp, your make-up.  And you’re feeling good about yourself, you’re a bona fide hottie right?

You go about your day and the mental picture you carry of yourself is smokin’.  And then about three o’clock you happen to pass a mirror and OH MY GOODNESS WHAT HAPPENED?! You bouncy body filled hair is lying flat against your skull, your eyeliner and mascara have mingled to give you a serious case of raccoon eyes, your shirt is sure making you look like you have boobs all right, right around your waist, and your favorite jeans are giving you a flat saggy butt.  You fluff your hair, wipe your eyes, readjust your bra and pull up your pants a bit, and then you get on with it because you have stuff to do.

An hour later, what’s your mental picture?

I’m gorgeous again.

The fact is that in my head I’m a ten all the time.  I’m completely undeterred by reality as long as I’m not actually being faced with that reality.  Having real pictures of myself on the websites I visit all the time would seriously mess with my world view.

Oh and I’d also like you to picture me as a fox.  I think that will be easier for you if you haven’t seen me.


PS I also can’t help but think that that avatar is about as represntitive of a picture of my life as you can get.  The Infantile Delinquent, naked, drinking Dr. Pepper, which he’s not supposed to drink, in a dirty kitchen…

PPS I would like to apologize to my RS president who is NOT 50!  She may be in her early 40s but she looks like she’s 30 and acts like she’s 20 and I love her!  And she’s not 50!


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lisa
    Oct 29, 2008 @ 02:46:19

    Truth be told, I don’t have a shirt that does that, I always wear a little make up, my mascara never runs, my hair ALWAYS lies flat against my skull (including right after I’ve blown my mousse coated hair dry upside down), and I don’t have a pair of favorite jeans.

    I AM a hottie in my mind, though, and I hate using the excuse that I’m not photogenic when in reality, I’m just as un-hot as my pictures portray.

  2. Annette
    Oct 29, 2008 @ 07:34:22

    You could always use a picture that’s been Photoshopped. My avatar’s like that–I’d dressed up, done my hair and makeup fresh for the picture, and then DH deleted zits, whitened my teeth, and a bunch of other stuff. I NEVER really look like that. But as I type away in my pajamas, it’s nice to look up there and pretend I do.

  3. Kristina
    Oct 29, 2008 @ 09:25:07

    The great thing about the pictures you post is that you get to pick the best ones! It takes me about 10 self portrait shots before I find one I’m OK with. And then, I may or may not slightly edit out my double chin.

  4. bythelbs
    Oct 29, 2008 @ 10:23:14

    That passing by the mirror thing—totally me. Only in my case it’s more like 10 am than 3 pm.

    I’m not a hottie in my own mind, which makes me think I’m totally cheating myself out of something here. I am, however, never the person that mysteriously appears in all of my pictures. Who is that? I don’t even know that person.

  5. Sara McClelland Hiltner
    Oct 29, 2008 @ 14:21:37

    It’s been about 7 years since I’ve seen you in person (I think it was Catherine’s wedding), and when I saw your pics, you haven’t aged/changed hardly at all. I wish I looked like you after 4 kids (if I decide to have that many) 🙂

    P.S. I had a nightmare the other night – and I realized that it was inspired by your post about your crazy schedule. I don’t know how you keep it up, but I hope you get a little break soon! I love to read your blog, though it makes me feel like a slacker in comparison – keep it up!

  6. Lisa M
    Oct 29, 2008 @ 18:54:32

    I am not a picture of myself poster either.

    It was really weird one day however to be at the children’s hospital, and have someone come up to me and say OH YOU MUST BE LISA. Quizzically I said, um yes.

    They recognized my son.

    It was really odd, to know they knew every single detail about me. They didn’t blog, just read.


  7. annie valentine
    Oct 29, 2008 @ 19:42:41

    What are you talking about? You’re way hot. And that smeared makeup? Haven’t you seen America’s Next Top Model? That could so totally be you.

  8. Melanie J
    Oct 30, 2008 @ 00:19:30

    I’m obssessed with mirrors, actually. I’m always checking to see if my face is getting skinnier. You know, in case it’s thinner than it was five minutes before. It doesn’t make sense, really, but there you go.

  9. Madmad
    Oct 30, 2008 @ 09:58:14

    I know, I know… I, too, think I look much better than I do in photos. Photos of me often resemble the one of that jack-o’lantern from the post below…

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