Bill Gates and the Distruction of the Universe

I’ve realized in the past year or so that I’m a really poor typist.  I’ve been working on it and I’ve made remarkable improvements but I still only capitalize about half of the words that need it the first time through.  I’m also apparently unable to type the word “mean” correctly.  It comes out “mena” every time.  And “though” always ends up “thought”.

“Yeah, I don’t get it,” you’re thinking.

Well, here’s the thing.  I typed a novel of more than 120,000 words in a month.  That’s pretty intensive typing practice.  When I started that little adventure I typed about 10 WPM.  I’m not kidding.  I wish I could come up with my old typing test from when I temped.  It was a joke.  Well, I type faster than that now.  My typing speed could even be considered decent, if you could find me a test that let me type the words that I want so that I can look at the keyboard as I must do.

But that #$%* Bill Gates made it so that the program that I, for all intents and purposes, learned to type on auto corrected all my mistakes.  It capitalized for me and it turned mena into mean every time.  Unfortunately, wordpress does not do that.  Neither does any email program I’ve ever used.  Neither does facebook, nor myspace, nor… well you get the point.

So now I can’t type.

PS It’s my understanding that that Gates guy can also be blamed for global warming, unfair business practices and hangnails.

PPS Please don’t point out that word does not auto-correct thought into though.

PPPS This website calls me a person who thinks of big thoughts.  Well, obviously.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Melanie J
    Sep 20, 2008 @ 09:10:30

    I don’t know about unfair business practices but Bill Gates is totally responsible for hangnails.

    And you can go to Popcap games and play Typer Shark for practice.

    And congratulations on being one of the few people I’ve ever seen do mutlitple P.S.-es correctly.

  2. robyn
    Sep 20, 2008 @ 10:55:26

    Um, excuse me, but I think I’m at the front of this line! See recent post for reference. 😉

  3. SallyGirl
    Sep 20, 2008 @ 17:23:21

    At least wordpress is kind enough to underline in red when we misspell!

  4. diana banana
    Sep 20, 2008 @ 21:39:15

    i was going to suggest downloading google chrome…but it only underlines stuff too, doesn’t auto correct. however, it underlines no matter where you’re typing…email, blog, facebook, you name it, it’ll spell check

  5. bythelbs
    Sep 20, 2008 @ 21:44:08

    I’m with Melanie—I totally appreciate the PPS’s instead of the PSS’s. Shudder. It’s post post people, not script script! That totally makes up for any typos you will ever make.

  6. annie valentine
    Sep 22, 2008 @ 17:17:51

    Big funny thoughts.

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