Why I’m a Lame Mom

Neither of the Irish twins have ever had their pictures professionally taken.  Oh, I just remembered that’s not true, Irish1 had his taken at the hospital when he was born.  We didn’t buy any.

I do not serve hotdogs, on their own, as a meal.  A stick of meat is not a meal.

My children know what amputation is by the age of 3.  “If that really hurts so badly that you have to keep crying about it I’ll bet I can take you to my hospital and have someone cut it off for you.”  It usually starts feeling better really soon thereafter.

I don’t give out band-aids unless I see blood.

We’ve never taken our kids on a real vacation.  We’ve visited the in-laws for a long weekend, that kind of thing, but we’ve never packed up and headed… anywhere.

I don’t even take them to get ice cream.  I just can’t bring myself to pay for three scoops what would buy a half gallon at the grocery store.

I make my kids, even the princess who’s 8, sit in carseats or boosters.  All. The. Time.

I don’t play video games.

I don’t allow sleepovers except with cousins.

I don’t change my mind, no matter how hard they whine.

I don’t read to them nearly as often as I should (read: Ever).

The “playroom” is now a playroom but the TV’s still unplugged.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Catherine
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 08:43:54

    Why does not serving hotdogs as a meal make you a lame mom? I think it makes you a good mom. You’re kids may not agree, but since when did it matter what kids think?

  2. Annie
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 09:36:00

    Oh you lame-o mom, you. How could you deny your children hot dogs? Its an American Tradition. That’s like not teaching them the Pledge of Allegiance, or Jesus. You march your little self right over to Costco and buy one of the bulk Oscar Meyer Mixed Meat packs and let your poor children discover the art of bunless dog eating. Best $4.69 you’ll ever spend, believe me.

  3. Alison Wonderland
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 10:23:31

    It’s not that we don’t eat dogs, I love me a good hotdog. It’s just that a hotdog alone does not a meal make. Not at my house anyway. Toss in some cru’d ete (that’s veggies for you neanderthals) (although obviously I don’t know how to spell it), potato salad, lemonade, even Doritos and you’ve got some good eatin’. But on its own a hotdog is not lunch.

  4. bythelbs
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 15:15:08

    I don’t think you’re lame. But you should read to your kids. Someday. Maybe. My kids love the reading. With Mom. And occasionally I love it too. Sometimes. 🙂

    Oh, and it’s crudite (with a little accent over the “e”—I don’t know how to make those little accent thingies over letters).

  5. s'mee
    Jul 16, 2008 @ 09:16:57

    Pretty much, I think those things make you a great mom! (except for that reading thing and yeah, you have to read to your kids once in a while, but I totally get why you don’t). “Well, you are crying so that means you can still breathe. Are you bleeding? No? O.k. Toughin’ up, you’re young, you’ll live.” -That was my comforting speech, yeah, I was mother of the year so many times.

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