Remember back before we shot our kids up with all kinds of immunizations for diseases that aren’t really all that dangerous and people used to have chickenpox parties. You know, little Timmy down the block would come down with the pox and all the other mothers would bring their kidlets over to play with Timmy because chicken pox are so much easier to deal with and so much less dangerous in little kids than in adults. So all these mothers would intentionally infect their kids with this disease so that they could get it over with.
Well, we went camping this weekend, something that my sister thought that I should have posted about because nobody even died or fell in the river or died or anything. And I’m happy to report that that was true, no one did die or fall in the river (which was especially amazing because we camped right by the river). But see, while it’s amazing that no one died or fell in the river there’s not really much to tell there. In fact, that’s about all there is to tell you, no one died or fell in the river. Someone dying or falling in the river actually makes a much better story. So it’s unlucky for the blog, but lucky for me and mine, that it didn’t happen.
Apparently I got distracted, where was I? Oh yes.
So we went camping and we came home a day early because it was cold up there. Really freaking cold up there. And the kids were coughing, the Infantile Delinquent especially. So we came home and he was just lying on me. And coughing. And crying. And lying on me. And coughing. And I started to get a little worried.
So I gave him a little ibuprofen and then I took him to the instacare.
When will I learn not to do that?!!! Here’s this kid who’s been lying around, hardly able to lift his head, all day and a teaspoon of the magical elixir later he’s bouncing off the walls. So I look like the freak mother who’s worried because her child is “sick” only he doesn’t look sick and he doesn’t act sick.
At least he was still coughing.
The doctor was very nice, she said his lungs sounded fine and that there was a good chance that what he had was the “new” flu which is what we’re calling the swine flu now because calling it swine flu is injurious to the swine and calling it H1N1 just sounds stupid. So we have the “new” flu now but what were’ going to do when there’s a newer flu I just don’t know. Because calling something the “newer” flu sounds even stupider than calling something H1N1. In fact, I think there ought to be someone in charge of naming diseases. Wouldn’t that be a great job? I would like that job. Just think of the revenge you could exact on old boyfriends, the high school government teacher who almost failed you, that guy who cut you off on the freeway (except that I don’t really have his name. Maybe I could cultivate a friendship with someone at the DMV…)
And now to get back to the point.
Apparently, they’re seeing a lot of people with the flu. “Flu season-like numbers” in fact. And 85% of the flu patients they’re seeing have the “new” flu. (Although how they’re getting those numbers I’m not sure since they’re not testing for it anymore, and my understanding is that they stopped testing for it because the numbers were so high. Which doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense to me but there it is.) My brother’s even (probably) got it and he didn’t even get it from my kids (although he’s got 8 of his own so he doesn’t really need mine to infect him with anything.) But the doctor told me that it’s mostly staying upper-respiratory and lingering for a while and then going away. And the best way to deal with it is just to get lots of rest and drink lots of fluids.
But then she made a good point, she said that she’d rather get the flu now when it’s relatively mild and then when it goes around this winter and it’s killing people off she’ll be immune.
So I say come on over and I’ll have the InfaDel give you a lick (as if I could stop him). Let’s have a good old fashioned flu party.