Oh, You Wanted Something Permanent? October 26, 2009

I got some comments with my last post that cereal (two FULL bags of cereal that I BOUGHT!) wasn’t really that big of a deal, it wasn’t permanent after all, it could just be vacuumed up (and by “just” here we mean with at least three separate vacuumings.)

And so, for your viewing pleasure, I give you the Sharpie artwork: (All artwork was produced by the Baby.)

Yes, that’s Sharpie on the carpet too. And on the carpet there.

And that’s just the walls (and carpet) there’s also this: this:

and this: And these: And my personal favorite, the hearth:

I just don’t bother to get mad about the Sharpie anymore.

No, I don’t just have markers lying around the house all the time, 90% of the time I can not figure out where he got the marker that he’s using, but if there’s one in the building he’ll find it (last week he found 2 (TWO!) within the first five minutes of being in church.)

P.S. All walls with Sharpie on them were painted within the last year.

While I Was Upstairs Cleaning the Playroom… October 22, 2009

… the Irish Twins were taking care of the living room:

(The fact that the Infantile Delinquent isn’t pictured does not mean he wasn’t involved (it means he was upstairs changing his underwear.))

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Sometimes people joke with me about having more kids.

I don’t really think it’s funny.

Hey, Give Me a Break, I Wasn’t a Boy Scout October 3, 2009

My brother got re-baptized last night.   I’m told it went great.  I don’t know, I wasn’t there.

I did intend to be there but , well, part of it was my fault.  I got the email from my brother and I read far enough to see that there was an address and at that point I stopped reading so I didn’t realize that the address included a street name rather than a number and that the stake center would probably require actual directions (which were offered for the low low price of a return email) rather than the ability to navigate the streets of Lehi (which I learned last night is not easy as the streets which should run north-south don’t).  So I didn’t know where we were going.

And then we left a little late.  Not very late, not even late enough to really be late just past the time I like to have for a cushion.

And the traffic was unbelievable.  I don’t usually have a lot of sympathy for people who don’t take traffic into account.  I mean come on, there’s always traffic right?  But I didn’t really expect it at 6:30 on a Friday night.  (I think I failed to take the fact that it’s conference weekend so all those crazy mormons are getting out of town into account.)

So we left late(ish) and we didn’t know where we were going.  That still wouldn’t have been too big of a deal for most of you.  But Sean and I are not most of you and even with two of us there was not a phone to be found.  Not that a phone would have done us a lot of good considering the fact that neither of us have any more minutes on our prepaid phone plans (yes, I realize that the only people who have prepaid phone plans are 6th graders, shut up).

So we made it to Lehi (finally) about 15 minutes after the baptism was supposed to start and it was just about at that point that the Baby woke up and proceeded to do a surprisingly accurate impression of a Nazgul screaming (You know that scream your baby can do where you think the your skull may actually crack open and your brain, which has been converted to a liquid form by the sound waves, will come pouring out your eye sockets?  That’s the one.)  So we drove around, not lost exactly but unable to find where we were going, with the nazgul screaming for about 25 minutes at which point I was ready to give up (we had surely missed the baptism anyway) but I was not going to drive all the way home with the Baby screaming like that.

So we decided to go to my other brother, Chris’s.  He was surely not home (he was the one performing the baptism afterall) but knowing him as I do, I knew that the house would not be locked and he would be delighted to be of assistance (especially when it required nothing on his part).

So we went to Chris’s house and as expected  the front door was not locked.  Open entering the house I noticed that someone had burnt dinner and that there were mattresses in the entryway (I never did get an explanation for that one, but he does have 8 kids so I guess I can come up with one on my own).  Proceeding into the house the smell of burning increased and I was thinking that whoever burnt dinner had done a really through job of it.  And then I got to the kitchen where I found my self crunching on a lot or debris.  Now, as I mentioned, Chris has 8 kids so debris on the kitchen floor is not unexpected (especially when I , as a guest am unexpected) but this took “I need to sweep the floor” to a whole other level.  And then I realized that it was glass on the floor oh and that there was the remnants of a pan of chocolate chip cookie bars smoking on the stove.

Apparently, the chocolate chip cookies that had been made for the reception after the baptism, and then left at home, had been left on a burner on the stove that had been left on.  The pyrex pan that had held the cookie bars had exploded at some point before my entrance on the scene and the remaining cookie on the stove was making an attempt at  going up in flames.

So I’m not saying that the Lord made me do it (you know, be late and unprepared) but well, it may not have been the devil either.

Step Away From the Mouse September 17, 2009

I won again.

This time it’s a good thing.  The Baby has learned to climb out of his crib and the resultant lack of sleep is doing bad things to all of us (not to mention that that kid has to be watched every second and now I can’t even relax at nights and naptimes) so I bid on, and won, a tent for the crib that should keep him in.  So that’s a positive.

But while I was on eBay’s site I figured I might as well look at belay devices.  You know, not that I’m going to buy one or anything, just to look right?

Will you look at that that some guy is selling two of them and the bidding’s only to $10.50.  $10.50! FOR TWO?!?  That’s a sensational price!  They’re $20 easy on their own.  How can I pass that up?

Apparently I can’t.  I bid on that one too (the auction closes at 11:00 tonight so here’s hoping).

And then maybe I’ll look at ropes.  I didn’t buy any but… well, it’s pretty tempting.  And then there’s the shoes (I have an email in to a girl selling on craig’s list) and carabiners and the quickdraws and SERIOUSLY WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME AWAY FROM THE FREAKING COMPUTER!!!!!

On a related note I did send a note to the harness seller asking if she would could down on the price.  She said that she couldn’t, that it really would cost her about that much and she’d only make $1 or $2 on the deal.  (She also said something about the postmaster at her post office having made her husband open a package once to prove that it was media so that he could send it media mail.  Is that even legal?)  Anyway, the thing about postage is that the receiver always knows what the sender spent.  And in this case, with the $15 that I paid her to send my harness she spent $6.45.  So she really only made $1 or $2 or $8.50 on the shipping (and that’s considerable when you take into account the fact that I only paid $24.99 for the thing).  Whatever.  Maybe it’ll teach me to pay closer attention in the future.

Speaking of, I wonder what the belay devices are going to cost to ship???

The End is Near July 24, 2009

I hope you have your food storage in order because you’re going to need it.  Soon. 

How soon? You ask.

Well, no one knows the day or the hour but I’ve been watching the signs and I’d say you’d better make sure you have enough Morning Moo for the family within the next few days, a week at the most.

How do I know? Well, let me tell you.

I went hiking today. And if that’s not a sign of the end of days I don’t know what is.

For those of you who don’t know me very well or who haven’t known me for more than a year, let me ’splain.  I’m not really what you would call the outdoorsy type.  I was raised with the belief that mankind had been through thousands of years of technological advances so that I wouldn’t have to sleep on the ground, or share my meals with the flies or *ahem* cook over an open flame (my father was resistant even to grilling) and so that I could have things like indoor plumbing and computers.  And that’s a belief that I proudly held for years.

Until this year when I made a resolution to take my family, my kids specifically, on some kind of vacation this year.  To begin with I was thinking Disney and then I looked up prices for Disney.  So then I was thinking … I don’t know, something else but well, frankly I couldn’t afford that either.  You know what I could afford?  Camping.  So I took a deep breath; got off my high horse (figuratively as I’ve never actually ridden a horse) and took the kids camping.  We’ve been twice and with the notable exception of the lantern attack it’s gone really well.  Well enough that we were planning on going again this weekend, to a campground that’s far(ish) away, for two nights.  This is serious commitment people!

Unfortunately, the Infantile Delinquent choose Wednesday night to spend puking and Thursday to be feverish and snuggly (which is semi-delightful for a mom but mostly really sad.) Not to be outdone, The Baby spent the majority of Thursday night screaming and  when Sean broke down and took him in to the ER (at about 2:30 this morning) we discovered that he had two enormous ulcers running down his throat (apparently this is somewhat common and not a sign of anything other than a lot of pain for the next few days).  We got him some meds and his pain seems to be fairly well managed but there wass no way I was taking him camping, especially not someplace far(ish) from home, with something like that going on.

So camping’s out at least for tonight, but my kids have just been sitting around the house for three weeks.  And while that’s really short for a summer break (as previously discussed) it’s plenty of time for the intake of Suite Life on Deck to reach critical levels.  I had to get them out of the house.  I had to get out of the house.  And because Sean hasn’t been paid in about a month (and because I’m cheap and we had already paid for a campsite that we’re not using) it had to be something free.

Walking’s free.

So I took my two oldest kids and we hiked.  We did the Silver Lake loop and just like the reviews I read, it was steep (and that sucked) but actually, it wasn’t too bad.  The kids whined a fair amount and they were each reduced to tears at least once, but I figure that’s about par for the course.  It’s four(ish) miles and we did it in a little under three hours and no one died or even ended up very seriously maimed.  So altogether I’m calling it a win.

But seriously, if I were you I’d make sure I had my affairs in order.  Just in case.

________________________________________

Since you asked:

If you look close you can see the cut from the lantern-> Poor sick Baby

I Should Probably Blog About Something April 12, 2009

But what?

Easter?  Almost certainly, but I probably won’t.

The new (to me) and as yet unnamed laptop that I’m writing this on?  I got it free thanks to my brother.  It’s got a few quirks but what around here doesn’t?  And now that topic’s pretty much completely exhausted.

I could tell you some more stories about my neighbors and why it’s imperative that we move… Bah, I don’t think I’m up to it.  These are some good stories, they require s good story teller, and that’s not me tonight.

How about I tell you about how I walked into my kitchen to find the Baby on the floor playing with razor blades?  Well see, I walked in the kitchen and the Baby was sitting on the floor playing with razor blades.  Oh, and an open safety pin.  They were the razor blades that I found in the tub of baby toys in the playroom about a week ago.  (And now you’re all clamoring to bring your kids over for a play date.)  I have no idea where they came from before that.  (Can you believe I was overlooked for mother of the year again this year?)

I could blog about…

Ah, forget it.

le Sigh March 30, 2009

On Sturday the Baby decided to give Rufus, my laptop, a shower.

I’d like to request a moment of silence for Rufus.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Are you ok now?

Good because we have other matters to discuss.

The death of Rufus means several things, one of which is that I will not be blogging as often.  Often I post while I’m at work but … sniffle… no, I’m fine really, just give me a minute… ok I won’t be able to do that now.  It also means that I won’t be reading blogs as much, due to a) lack of availible time (I can’t have breakfast at the family computer) and b) the fact that my blog reader was on my desktop which is now… *waving violently in front of my eyes* … inaccessible.

It also means that I have to put up with the home computer.  Which sucks.

It’s going to be fine.

Luckily the prospect of a brand new toy, remember this, is keeping me from falling into despair.  I was sure I would get it today.  I didn’t.  But I’d like to thank Janelle for the fact that getting the mail today did not reduce me to tears.  I didn’t get this:but I did get these:

Thank you Janelle.

Not to Change the Subject or Anything Butt March 24, 2009

I’m loving the deal breakers discussion and at some point I’ll probably even get around to sharing my thoughts but first I have an entirely different question for you.

My baby sister, who has a baby of her own recently bought a highchair off Craig’s list and after she got it she had to spend the morning cleaning someone else’s gunk off of it and I just had to think that if I had been the person selling it I would have cleaned it before I sold it.  Is that just me?  Could you sell something like that to someone without cleaning it first?

Also, how do you shower when alone in the house with a 2-year-old (with a predilection for auto theft) and a 1-year-old?

I Forget January 15, 2009

How does one fold laundry with a one-year-old in the house?

It’s not like this is my first rodeo, I do have 3 older children, but I cannot for the life of me remember how I ever got laundry folded (and more specifically, to stay folded) with a one year old wandering around unfolding every shirt, pair of pants and set of pajamas as soon as I have it arranged.

I also can not remember how one washes dishes with a one year old in the house.  More specifically, I can’t figure out how to load the dishwasher without its being immediately unloaded onto the floor.  Even more specifically, how does one load the silverware basket and keep it loaded?

And when do you sleep?

Free at Last, Free at Last December 29, 2008

I’ve heard that  Martin Luther King Jr,was referring to something other than a resuming of wi-fi connectivity when he wrote that speech.  But I’m not convinced.

That’s right folks, I got the ol’ laptop fixed and I’m back sitting on the floor in the Infantile Delinquent’s room while he yells for his father and blogging. All is now right with the world once again.

Speaking on sitting here listening to the InfaDel holler for his dad.  I got to do that for a good hour and a half yesterday (he’s nothing if not persistent) because we’ve completely broken that kid.  He does not ever go to sleep without one of his parents (preferably his father) within touching distance.  (This includes when he wakes up in the middle of the night.  And I’m here to tell you his floor is not overly comfortable.)  I held strong, that I was not going to get his father until he started crying “please get daddy” about midnight.  Give me a break, it was the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard.  And even my heart isn’t completely made of stone.  Besides, I still needed to brush my teeth.

He is, however feeling better as evidenced by the fat that he spent the entire day sans pants.  Three days ago he wouldn’t have had the energy to undress himself like that.

But never fear, I still got to spend the day on the couch. Today it was the Baby, who was sick.  And he is, If anything, more pathetic when sick than his older brother is.  It was very sad.

In other news, the Princess was really on a roll today and all I can say is that I can’t wait until she hits puberty so that  I can blame the moodiness on PMS.