Oh, You Wanted Something Permanent? October 26, 2009

I got some comments with my last post that cereal (two FULL bags of cereal that I BOUGHT!) wasn’t really that big of a deal, it wasn’t permanent after all, it could just be vacuumed up (and by “just” here we mean with at least three separate vacuumings.)

And so, for your viewing pleasure, I give you the Sharpie artwork: (All artwork was produced by the Baby.)

Yes, that’s Sharpie on the carpet too. And on the carpet there.

And that’s just the walls (and carpet) there’s also this: this:

and this: And these: And my personal favorite, the hearth:

I just don’t bother to get mad about the Sharpie anymore.

No, I don’t just have markers lying around the house all the time, 90% of the time I can not figure out where he got the marker that he’s using, but if there’s one in the building he’ll find it (last week he found 2 (TWO!) within the first five minutes of being in church.)

P.S. All walls with Sharpie on them were painted within the last year.

The End is Near July 24, 2009

I hope you have your food storage in order because you’re going to need it.  Soon. 

How soon? You ask.

Well, no one knows the day or the hour but I’ve been watching the signs and I’d say you’d better make sure you have enough Morning Moo for the family within the next few days, a week at the most.

How do I know? Well, let me tell you.

I went hiking today. And if that’s not a sign of the end of days I don’t know what is.

For those of you who don’t know me very well or who haven’t known me for more than a year, let me ’splain.  I’m not really what you would call the outdoorsy type.  I was raised with the belief that mankind had been through thousands of years of technological advances so that I wouldn’t have to sleep on the ground, or share my meals with the flies or *ahem* cook over an open flame (my father was resistant even to grilling) and so that I could have things like indoor plumbing and computers.  And that’s a belief that I proudly held for years.

Until this year when I made a resolution to take my family, my kids specifically, on some kind of vacation this year.  To begin with I was thinking Disney and then I looked up prices for Disney.  So then I was thinking … I don’t know, something else but well, frankly I couldn’t afford that either.  You know what I could afford?  Camping.  So I took a deep breath; got off my high horse (figuratively as I’ve never actually ridden a horse) and took the kids camping.  We’ve been twice and with the notable exception of the lantern attack it’s gone really well.  Well enough that we were planning on going again this weekend, to a campground that’s far(ish) away, for two nights.  This is serious commitment people!

Unfortunately, the Infantile Delinquent choose Wednesday night to spend puking and Thursday to be feverish and snuggly (which is semi-delightful for a mom but mostly really sad.) Not to be outdone, The Baby spent the majority of Thursday night screaming and  when Sean broke down and took him in to the ER (at about 2:30 this morning) we discovered that he had two enormous ulcers running down his throat (apparently this is somewhat common and not a sign of anything other than a lot of pain for the next few days).  We got him some meds and his pain seems to be fairly well managed but there wass no way I was taking him camping, especially not someplace far(ish) from home, with something like that going on.

So camping’s out at least for tonight, but my kids have just been sitting around the house for three weeks.  And while that’s really short for a summer break (as previously discussed) it’s plenty of time for the intake of Suite Life on Deck to reach critical levels.  I had to get them out of the house.  I had to get out of the house.  And because Sean hasn’t been paid in about a month (and because I’m cheap and we had already paid for a campsite that we’re not using) it had to be something free.

Walking’s free.

So I took my two oldest kids and we hiked.  We did the Silver Lake loop and just like the reviews I read, it was steep (and that sucked) but actually, it wasn’t too bad.  The kids whined a fair amount and they were each reduced to tears at least once, but I figure that’s about par for the course.  It’s four(ish) miles and we did it in a little under three hours and no one died or even ended up very seriously maimed.  So altogether I’m calling it a win.

But seriously, if I were you I’d make sure I had my affairs in order.  Just in case.

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Since you asked:

If you look close you can see the cut from the lantern-> Poor sick Baby

Would You Like a List of My Grievances? May 9, 2009

I don’t have one.  I don’t even really have any grievances.  I just haven’t really been up to… contact.

But I have been thinking a lot.

I have a friend, a gal I grew up with (she was about three years older than me but she had a little sister who was my age and I had sisters her age and her family was in the ward, you know the drill) who died last weekend.  Of the flu.  No, not the swine flu, just the plain old flu.  She had three sons 9,6,and 3.  What do you say about that?

I have the same stinking back pain.  Again.  (Still not pregnant.)  And every time I try to stand I feel like the muscles in my back somehow forgot how to hold me upright.

We’re still planning on trying to move but there are still all these people in my house who keep eating, and wearing clothes and peeing in the toilets (and let’s face it, on the floor) and … And it’s difficult.

Sean has been very helpful and overall fantastic about all the chores we have for the selling the house prep.

The Princess turned 9.  Isn’t she amazing and gorgeous?

Isn’t that cake amazing and gorgeous?  My sister made it.  It was delicious too.

My friend Annie, who’s also amazing and gorgeous see: (I couldn’t help it, it’s my favorite picture of her.  Ok Fine,) came over to help me with the birthday party we had for the Princess.  She came right in and took over, doing the hair and make-up of five 9ish year olds.  By the end of the party, heck five minutes into the party, she was their god.

Me?  I was their plaything:

The Infantile Delinquent turned 3.

I just love (and by love I mean loathe) having a three year old.

But I have to admit he does rock pretty freakin’ hard:

And now I’m all blogged out.  Adieu.

A Post About YOU! Oh, No sorry, That’s U. April 19, 2009

My very dear bloggy friend bythelbs did a letter post.  And then she asked if we all wanted to do letter posts too and being the sheep that I am I said I did.  So she assigned me a letter.  The letter U to be exact.  And while coming up with ten things I like that start with the letter U may not be the easiest thing I’ve ever done it is, well… Oh enough with the intro already.

Underwear.  Or unders as we call them here in the Wonderland.  Because once one of the Wonderkids is in unders that means that they’re not in diapers anymore.  And that makes us all happy.  (I’ll also include here Underoos.  if I had a scanner I’d insert a great picture that I have of myself Christmas morning of probably, 1982ish, in my Wonder Woman Underoos that I wore daily everywhere I went.  Sadly, I don’t have a scanner so we’re going to move on ok?)

Ukulele.  Actually, I really am a legitimate fan of the ukulele, my dad has one, has had my whole life, and some of my fondest memories of my childhood are of nights that he would get it down and play it.

Oh and here’s a youtube video of a guy playing “while my ukulele gently weeps”.  Because who can resist that? 

Umbrella.  I love the rain.  I grew up in a land of frequent, amazing, violent storms and I always loved them.   Which makes the fact that I live in this rain forsaken desert (except for last week) all the sadder.  I miss my entire summers of “hazy hot and humid with a chance of thundershowers later in the afternoon.”

Urgent.  It may be a little bloodthirsty of me but I love a good emergency at work.  I like the adrenaline rush, I like the feeling that what I’m doing actually makes a difference, I like knowing that I’m doing what I do better than I did even six months ago; and I don’t really get any of that taking out tonsils.

Upside-down.  I like to see things from a different perspective.  Some of you may have seen pictures of me at the top of the Stratosphere in Las Vegas (heck, some of you saw me there in person) and while I was there, this is what I did. I know the two pictures look almost identical but if you look closely (at anything other than me) you’ll see that they’re not.  It’s just that I spent most of my time there in that position and I could have stayed there all day.  It was the whole city from a new angle.  I love that.  (And yes, the little sign next to me does say “Do Not Lean On Glass”  I wasn’t leaning on the glass I was leaning on the frame.  Give me a break will ya?)

Ubiquitous.  Because who doesn’t love Angela Lansbury?

Uniform.  Because who doesn’t love a guy in uniform?

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Oh wait…

Underdogs.  I know it’s not PC but I can’t help it,  I grew up in DC, I’ll always be a Redskins fan.

Urban.  I’m a city girl.  I”ve never ridden a horse or touched a cow and I’m not that sad about that.  The smallest town I’ve ever lived in was Provo and I’m gonna be honest, it kinda freaked me out (that may have been more about the fact that it was Provo than the size of the town but be that as it may…) My in-laws, a lot of them, are small town people and I think that’s great.  But I just can’t function properly in a town where the only pizza place is closed at 8:05 on a Saturday night. It’s not that I’m going to order the pizza,  I just like to have the option.

Uh.  I give up.

Ta-Da! February 18, 2009

It started out like this:And like this (obviously this is a different angle):

And then it looked like this:And then this: Then this:

Then this: Then this:

Then this: This:

This: This:

And now this: Yay!!!!

The exterior is not done.  Before: (notice the darness of the existing wood siding)

Currently: (notice the not darkness of the new wood siding.)

And there is more work that needs to be done inside too:

But as of right now, I’m done.

And I’m calling it a win.

The Real Houdini January 25, 2009

Back when the Infantile Delinquent was stealing cars my mother said that rather than calling him Irish 1, which was what I called him at the time, I should call him Houdini.  I thought about it but then I came up with Infantile Delinquent and I thought that was pretty clever (and then bythelbs came up with InfaDel and that was even cleverer and a lot of fun) so I went with Infantile Delinquent instead.

And now I know I made a good choice.  Sure the Infadel steals cars but only those that are left unlocked.  Or those to which he has access to the keys, which is pretty precocious for a two-year-old but not quite as impressive as his sister who opens this from the other side of the door.  (That’s not a stain on the door jamb, it’s just unpainted wood from where the hinges used to be before I turned the door around.  Long story.)

Sean and I sleep in the basement in our house.  All the kids sleep upstairs.  Most of the time.  But the kids are horrible sleepers and all of them with the exception of the Pea would prefer to sleep in our bed.  The Princess and the InfaDel feel so strongly about this that they will sneak down stairs in the middle of the night to do so.  The Baby probably would too but he can’t get out of his crib.  Yet.  (He’s only barely one after all) So he doesn’t.

In an effort to not have four people in our bed every night  we started locking the basement door.  That was effective for all of maybe one night.  Then the Princess realized that by inserting a screwdriver along the striker plate (the plate that lets the door close without your having to turn the knob.  Yes, I had to look that up.) she could pop that sucker right open.

So after waking up to find the Princess in our bed 2 or 3 (or 20 or 30) times we installed the very fancy hook and eye latch.

Before we proceed let me point out a few features of the hook and eye.

It’s placed high on the door.  I’m 5′7″ and I took this picture standing, notice how you’re looking up at the latch?

There’s a backstop (looked that one up too) between the edge of the door and the latch so anything that’s going to open that latch has to turn a corner.  (You can’t really see it in this picture but in the interest of full disclosure I will tell you that the backstop on this particular door is backwards because when I turned the door around I was too lazy to pull off the backstop and turn it around too.)

This particular latch has a spring loaded lock on it.  You drop the latch into place and then pull the lock thingy back and  it’s supposed to secure the latch into place. (This feature is not very effective, it’s easy to unlatch the thing without pulling back the lock.  But it has to add some resistance right?)

The latch stopped the Princess for all of two nights.

SHE WAS STILL GETTING IN!!!!

At first we thought that we were forgetting to latch it.  Nope.

Maybe she was just jimmying the door and the latch was coming off?  No.

I wondered if she was somehow getting a screwdriver in there so I tried it.  That didn’t work either.

So finally we asked her.

She carries a chair down the stairs and stands on it.  Then she takes a paperback book and slides the cover between the door and the frame.  The cover of the book easily turns the corner (Made slightly easier by the backward backstop but still…) and with the book cover lifts the latch.  She then inserts a screwdriver between the door and the striker plate, because we often engage both the latch and the lock (why, I have no idea because obviously neither are doing any good)  and unlocks the door.  She then carries the chair back upstairs, puts the book and the screwdriver away (the only time she ever cleans up after herself) and them comes back downstairs and climbs into bed with us.

It really is too bad she’s an evil genius.

Funny You Should Mention That December 20, 2008

Both my darling sister Catherine and my good Friend Lisa mentioned that when they saw the title of the last post they thought it was going to be about the kitchen.

That just makes me chuckle.  Have you learned nothing here girls?  I’m NEVER going to be done with the kitchen.  In fact I happened to take some pictures of the kitchen right before I wrote that last post.  I kid you not, this is exactly what my kitchen looked like as I turned my back on it to write that happy little post.

La la la la la la la  la.  That’s just me singing  a happy tune.  And how could you not, living like this?

And just for good measure, here’s the sink full of dishes that I didn’t do that morning because I hung some sheetrock (yes, more sheetrock) and then went Christmas shopping instead.

Merry Christmas!

I Know I Hate Halloween But… October 28, 2008

…the Jack-o-lantern I carved is FREAKIN’ AWESOME!

See:It’s like Scarface or Sloth from Goonies or something.

Hmmm Goonies, now might be a good time to introduce my kids to One Eyed Willie.  Not to mention a inhaler weilding Sean Astin (Mr. Frodo my tukus).

And because every once in a while i need to be the doting mom, here are some more punkin carving pics:

More Hypotheticals September 30, 2008

If you leave this board

(Yes, those are nails.)

laying on the floor like this

then your husband might step on the board and the nail might go into his foot far enough that he has to reach down and pull the board (and the nail) off (out) of his foot.

And he might have to go to the ER where, thankfully he works so they know him and they don’t make him wait for ten years, and get one of the doctors there to clean it out and give him a Tetanus shot so he doesn’t get lock-jaw.

And you might feel really bad and really guilty.

If, however, your husband leaves this board

laying on the floor like this and he steps on it.  You’ll still feel really bad.

But you’ll avoid the guilt.

Update September 4, 2008

Diamonds Schmimonds, pearls schmearls, mama’s got a brand new saw.  She’s pretty, no?

I’m gonna be honest and tell you that at first she scared me just a little bit, she’s way more manly than my old cordless saw but then I used her and Oh My Lanta, She cut through my 23/32 tongue and groove plywood like butta.  And it was love.

So the lesson for the day is cordless drill, good.  Cordless circular saw, not so much.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve mentioned it because it’s been quite a while since I’ve wanted to talk about it but we’re back on track and working on the kitchen.  And as you can see it’s coming along.

Inside the addition looking out the window.

Outside looking in the window.

Next we need to knock out that wall! Yeah, that dark wall with the light on it and the door in it.  That’s the current exterior door to the house and when we get rid of it is when the addition actually becomes an addition to my mind.  And it starts to bring the mess into the house.

We actually have a few more things to do first but there’s a chance that next week will be demo time.

Wish us luck!

I’ll leave you with this parting shot.

Just because they're cute.