There Just Really Is No Substitute July 2, 2009

You know, it’s amazing the things that modern medicine can do. Lungs don’t work?  We can put you on ECMO. Can’t eat? Can’t digest?  We’ll just administer TPN right into the blood stream, you know, cut out the middleman.  Pancreas doesn’t work? how ’bout some insulin shots? Kidney’s don’t work?  No problem, we have dialysis.  Liver doesn’t work? We can… actually I don’t know what we do for people in liver failure but I’m sure there are treatments, and when those don’t work anymore we’ll just get you a new one.  Same goes for kidneys, heart, lungs, pancreas, corneas, and more. And that’s just the beginning.  Have a headache? Take some Tylenol.  That doesn’t do it? Try some Advil.  Maybe some Excedrin.

It’s truly astounding.

BUT (There just had to be a but didn’t there?) none of it really works quite as well as a body that just works.  ECMO is very temporary and occasionally results in insufficient blood supply to the brain as well as kidney failure.  TPN is hard on your liver and it doesn’t take too long until the problems outweigh the benefits.  Insulin?  Again I’m not that up on diabetes but the mere fact that you have to give yourself a shot every day, sometimes multiple times a day, sounds like enough of a drawback to me.  Dialysis is amazing but it’s time consuming taking sometimes several hours three times a week. And then for those who go the transplant route there’s always the chance that they won’t get an organ or that they’ll reject despite the anti-rejection meds that they have to take for years on end and the risk of infection and… Even Tylenol and Advil take their toll (on the liver and kidneys respectively).

So what it all comes down to is that our bodies are amazing, they can do amazing things, and they’re unbelievably complex. And I’m dang glad mine works as well as it does.

Making God Laugh June 25, 2009

There I go again.

In the last six months or so I’ve made a lot of plans.  I decided to go back to school, I decided to sell my house,  I decided not to go back to school (yet) and now I think I’ve decided not to sell my house.  BUT I may have decided to go back to school after all.

For those interested here’s the progression.  I have all these little boys whom I ‘m going to have to feed as teenagers so I decided to go back to school so I could afford to do that but when I actually looked at the scheduling it became clear that there was no time that I could actually attend class (something that’s encouraged in those going to school) until the irish twins were both in preschool at least. Then we had an incident with some of the neighbor kids so we thought that we should try to get out of the hood, maybe stop exposing our kids to some of the influences that are part and parcel of where we live (it occurs to me now that I promised you more “the things that happen in my neighborhood” stories, maybe later).  So this week I’ve been talking to a Realtor and it turns out that the chances of selling our house without taking a loss are bad, really bad, and, honestly, I’ve just gotten our finances to a place that doesn’t give me ulcers. We can’t afford to take a loss.  So moving’s out.  The new plan there is to continue with the FHE and the scriptures and prayers (something that we’re actually really  really good about solely because it’s the only real protection from the neighborhood and the world that I can give them) and maybe step it up a little.  I’d also like to get them interested in something.  Some kind of sport, dance, gymnastics, horseback riding, something.  Something that will give them something to do aside from hanging out with the neighbor kids.

Also, lately I’ve applied for a different job.  Actually, it’s kind of the same job but the hours would be really different, freeing up most of my days, so maybe the school thing could work out after all.  I don’t know about the job, my boss was maybe going to decide today so I may know soon.  (Not that not knowing is going to stop my making plans, I’m still me.)

Overall, I’m actually pretty happy with the way things have worked out so far, I don’t love my neighborhood but I do love my house.  I love my new kitchen, and I think the rest of the house has so dang much potential that I was really sad at the thought of leaving and now I don’t have to think about it.  I would love some ideas from you all about how to make our living here a positive thing for my kids, seriously, how do I keep them away from the things that they will inevitably be introduced to living here (yes, I know that kids can find that stuff anywhere, but we’ve already had to put certain houses in the neighborhood off limits because the “adults” in the house were smoking pot in the house with their kids, and my kids there).  Maybe this is my chance to be a good influence to the neighborhood.  But how?

As to the going back to school, Im not going to put my eggs in that basket until I hear about the job and then we’ll see from there, if I don’t do school maybe I’ll start writing again.  Who knows, anything could happen, and no doubt, lots of things will.  And lots of plans will be made, and most, if not all, will be discarded.  But what the heck, if I can’t be good at least I can be entertaining!

And the Gold Medal Goes To… June 22, 2009

I noticed the other day that I’m way too competitive.   I don’t play sports, I’m not a gamer, I don’t really do anything that could be called competition, except live.  But in the course of living I meet people, make friends, form acquaintances, hear the news of others and suddenly I’m Suzie competitive.

What’s that? Cheryl’s pregnant with her 5th kid?  I only have four, I could be just as good of a mother as Cheryl, maybe I should have another kid, you know, just to prove it.  Because somehow child bearing and raising is a competition.

Kate homeschools her kids.  Sure she doesn’t have to work full time outside of her home in order to feed her kids but I should be able to homeschool too, I mean if Kate does it… Maybe if I was willing to be flexible and not sleep all day after I work  a night shift, maybe I could work in homeschooling.

What’s that?  ByTheLbs is vacationing in Hawaii?  Maybe I should take the money I have in savings and hit the beach, I meant that’s not what I saved it for but, well, I’ve never been to Hawaii and vacationing, surely vacationing is a competition.

Look how well behaved Catherine’s kids are.  Her three year old would never yell “I hate you” at her as she walked up to the pulpit to say the closing prayer in sacrament meeting. (No, I’m not kidding, you haven’t been here long have you?)  Maybe I should… well, I don’t have any idea what I should do to compete in this arena (aside from recognizing that her children and my children are, you know, different children.)

And look at all these girls having their babies without medication.  I mean I did it once but surely I could have done it more than once.  (How’s that for a STUPID thought?)

And both Melanie and Kate had twins, maybe I could have twins naturally that would really show ‘em.  And look how long Becky’s hair is (because hair length, absolutely a competition) and look at Angela’s cute clothes, oh and the Joneses got a new boat, and you know I have to keep up with the Joneses…

I mean, um, well…

Howling at the Moon June 18, 2009

Was it a full moon last night?

I’m not really a superstitious person.  Part of me would like to be but it just doesn’t work out with enough consistency for me to really get behind it.  (Now if someone who broke a mirror really did have seven years of remarkably bad luck that would be a different story, but I’ve broken mirrors and I don’t think my luck is really much worse than the next gal’s.)  The full moon thing though, that may be a different story.  Really, most of the worst nights at work that I can remember were full moons, the very worst one was a full moon and Friday the 13th.  I’m not kidding.

Regardless, last night was crazy, absolutely insane, but when it finally calmed down (about 4am) and I got a chance to sit down and chat with some of my coworkers, Racheal, my nurse  every Wednesday night, and good friend, said, “I love working with Alison because the crazier it gets the happier she is.”  And you know what?  She was right.

I’m not be superstitious but I am a firm believer in the principle that when it comes down to laugh or cry, you might as well laugh. And up until last night I thought that that was about all there was to it, that was why I always find myself smiling and laughing and call the bad nights the “best night ever” but I realized last night when I was in the ICU getting ready to do life saving surgery, about ten minutes after helping do compressions on a different patient in the OR, that that wasn’t all there was to it, that this is why I do what I do.

Coming to work and taking out appendices all night is fine, it’s important work, it’s work that has to be done and it puts food in my kids’ mouths.  But it doesn’t really get the blood pumping.  Having everything the surgeon needs, even before he knows he needs it, on an elbow pinning is great, but it doesn’t leave you with the sense of accomplishment that having what the surgeon needs before he knows he needs it when cracking a chest does.

Sure, I love a quiet night.  I’ve mentioned before that every once in a while the stars align and I come in to work and do absolutely nothing for twelve hours, and I love that.  Don’t get me wrong I really love that.

But if I can’t do nothing, give me something to do, and make it a big one.

___________

P.S. Both patients lived and, last I heard, were doing very well.

Swing Low June 16, 2009

Last week I was good.  I was a good mother, a good wife, a reasonable, put together, capable woman.

This week I’m lucky to get a bra on.

Isn’t it fun being a girl?

_______________________

As I mentioned yesterday, it’s been raining around here for about 3 months straight, and yet for some reason the Princess hasn’t felt like that’s been enough water.  So yesterday she got out the hose and left 4 inches of standing water, mud really, under the swing set.

______________________

How do people who have children (and husbands) sell their houses?  Ours isn’t even officially for sale yet (although I’d be happy to consider any offers) and already I can see that the whole Realtor calling on the way over to the house thing just isn’t going to work.

I have a friend who kept five laundry baskets in her garage.  When the Realtor called she just pulled out the baskets and tossed everything that wasn’t where it went into the baskets.  Then she tossed the baskets into her car with her kids and away they went.  I think that that’s a good idea but in my case it’s just not going to be sufficient.

____

There are people out there who do not have six inches of crap piled on every flat surface.  I know there are, I’ve been in their homes.  Maybe you’re one of them.  What I don’t know is HOW?  How is that possible?

I try, honestly I do.  I’m not afraid to throw things away, I’m not very sentimental and I tend to be pretty pragmatic, I throw away things I know that I might need again, I throw away baby pictures and wedding announcements and … and yet there is a minimum of six inches of crap stacked on each and every horizontal surface in my house. How does this happen?

I don’t know but I’ll tell you what, my next house isn’t going to have any tables, counters or shelves that should solve it. Right?

____

I’m so sick of my house at this point that I’m about ready to just take a match to the whole thing.  (I’m begging those of you  who have lived through house fires to not inform me that burning it down does not actually help.  Did you hear me?  BEGGING.)

______________________

I noticed yesterday that my abs were sore.  I’m not really sick, I just have this tickle at the back of my throat and coughing gets rid of it.  Sometimes.  But I tell you what, by the time I get over this I’m gonna be ripped!

______________________

There used to be a DI five minutes from my house.  It was right across the street from the Home Depot even.  Then they closed it and built a brand new really lovely and very functional replacement.  That’s 20 minutes away.  How is that fair?

_____________________

Is it nap time yet?

Home Again, Home Again Jiggity Jog June 15, 2009

For those of you not in Utah, let me start by explaining that it’s been raining here for the last week and according to the weather app on my iTouch it’s supposed to carry on with that until the end of the week at the earliest.  I can’t even tell you how much I’m loving this weather.  It’s like spring in Virginia, and I’m home again. Ahhh. The grass is green and (at least in the case of my lawn) long and I have little things sprouting all over my flower beds and in the cracks of the sidewalk and I realize that the things I’m listing here don’t sound all that good but really, I love it.  All of it.

I think the first fight Sean and I ever had was over the fact that spring just isn’t spring to me if it’s not green and it’s not green in Utah.

“What do you mean it’s not green, look around (we were driving through the Uintas) it’s totally green.”

I looked around.  There was a greenish cast to the brown, but, well, it wasn’t green.

When I took him to Virginia I think he suddenly understood.

In all honesty, it’s still not Virginia green around here.  But since I can’t get Va, I’ll take it.

Other items of business:

Yes, we are still planning on moving.  Sometime.  The house is still not on the market but I’m really hoping to get it there soon.  Ish.  I’ve had people recommend that we just put it on as it is and we can just carry on with fixing it up while it’s on but I just can’t do it.  At this point the piano is out in the middle of the living room   and there are paint drop cloths all over the place and … it’s just a mess.  And while mess is sort of a constant around here, even I can’t pretend that this kind of mess is acceptable.  So we’re working on it.

As if I don’t have enough to do these days, I’ve been thinking about writing lately.  Mostly really it’s just that Jack keeps showing up in my head.  I’m not sure what to do about that.  I really don’t have time to write, I can barely even find time to blog.
And on that  note, I have stuff to do.

Welcome to My Home, Licking or Non? June 9, 2009

Remember back before we shot our kids up with all kinds of immunizations for diseases that aren’t really all that dangerous and people used to have chickenpox parties. You know, little Timmy down the block would come down with the pox and all the other mothers would bring their kidlets over to play with Timmy because chicken pox are so much easier to deal with and so much less dangerous in little kids than in adults. So all these mothers would intentionally infect their kids with this disease so that they could get it over with.

Well, we went camping this weekend, something that my sister thought that I should have posted about because nobody even died or fell in the river or died or anything. And I’m happy to report that that was true, no one did die or fall in the river (which was especially amazing because we camped right by the river). But see, while it’s amazing that no one died or fell in the river there’s not really much to tell there. In fact, that’s about all there is to tell you, no one died or fell in the river. Someone dying or falling in the river actually makes a much better story. So it’s unlucky for the blog, but lucky for me and mine, that it didn’t happen.

Apparently I got distracted, where was I? Oh yes.

So we went camping and we came home a day early because it was cold up there. Really freaking cold up there. And the kids were coughing, the Infantile Delinquent especially. So we came home and he was just lying on me. And coughing.  And crying. And lying on me. And coughing. And I started to get a little worried.

So I gave him a little ibuprofen and then I took him to the instacare.

When will I learn not to do that?!!! Here’s this kid who’s been lying around, hardly able to lift his head, all day and a teaspoon of the magical elixir later he’s bouncing off the walls.  So I look like the freak mother who’s worried because her child is “sick” only he doesn’t look sick and he doesn’t act sick.

At least he was still coughing.

The doctor was very nice, she said his lungs sounded fine and that there was a good chance that what he had was the “new” flu which is what we’re calling the swine flu now because calling it swine flu is injurious to the swine and calling it H1N1 just sounds stupid.  So we have the “new” flu now but what were’ going to do when there’s a newer flu I just don’t know.  Because calling something the “newer” flu sounds even stupider than calling something H1N1.  In fact, I think there ought to be someone in charge of naming diseases.  Wouldn’t that be a great job? I would like that job.  Just think of the revenge you could exact on old boyfriends, the high school government teacher who almost failed you, that guy who cut you off on the freeway (except that I don’t really have his name.  Maybe I could cultivate a friendship with someone at the DMV…)

And now to get back to the point.

Apparently, they’re seeing a lot of people with the flu. “Flu season-like numbers” in fact. And 85% of the flu patients they’re seeing have the “new” flu. (Although how they’re getting those numbers I’m not sure since they’re not testing for it anymore, and my understanding is that they stopped testing for it because the numbers were so high. Which doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense to me but there it is.) My brother’s even (probably) got it and he didn’t even get it from my kids (although he’s got 8 of his own so he doesn’t really need mine to infect him with anything.) But the doctor told me that it’s mostly staying upper-respiratory and lingering for a while and then going away.  And the best way to deal with it is just to get lots of rest and drink lots of fluids.

But then she made a good point, she said that she’d rather get the flu now when it’s relatively mild and then when it goes around this winter and it’s killing people off she’ll be immune.

So I say come on over and I’ll have the InfaDel give you a lick (as if I could stop him). Let’s have a good old fashioned flu party.

Well, Here’s Something June 9, 2009

Despite the dearth of posts over here I’m guest posting elsewhere today.

That’s right, I am the featured poster over at Mormon Women.

I was going to leave it at that because I  know that a lot of my readers also read Cheryl and Janelle so they know all about the Mormon Women site.  But it occurs to me that some of you actually don’t read those gals (although, why that would be I have no idea) so you might not know about it and you might be interested (I’m talking to you, Lisa (although you do read Annette so you may know about it after all and…) whatever).

Anyway, Mormon Women is a website put together by an amazing group of women who (oddly enough) all happen to be Mormon.  The point of the whole thing is to get the word out that we’re not all freaks and weirdos and crazies.  That there are a lot of LDS women out there who live their religion and love their religion and who are perfectly content.  Unfortunately contentment breeds complacency so a lot of us don’t really think about writing about the things that we’re perfectly happy about. (I know that for me a post is hardly a post if I haven’t gotten in at least one good complaint.) But that needs to change.  You need to write about your experiences, your thoughts, etc, and submit them over there.

The post of mine that’s up there today is actually a re-post, my faithful readers will recognize it from here a few months ago, but I have another original post that’s mostly formed in my head that I’ll be submitting soon so you’ll need to hang out over there if you want to see it.  And while you’re over there you can comment, and even submit something of your own.  We’ve been asked to take our religious discussions on-line, let’s make sure that the only folks doing so aren’t those with an ax to grind.

Once Upon a Time June 8, 2009

There was a woman who didn’t have anything blog about.

Can you guess who?

Forever in Mom Jeans June 3, 2009

There are some things I don’t mind about getting older, I care a lot less about what people think of me, I’m in charge of making dinner so I don’t have to suffer through meals that I don’t like (in theory at least, this doesn’t always seem to work out), I’m in charge of my own bed time.  But I went on a field trip with the Princess on Tuesday and I gotta tell you, I just don’t know when I got to be so old.

The field trip was a “rewards” activity for all the kids in the school who are consistently well behaved (the Pea did NOT go on this field trip) and it was at a local “fun center” kind of place.  The kids skated, and rode the bumper cars and rode the little rides and I followed along and watched.  Which was fine.  So then the Princess and her two little friends wanted to go on one of those octopus kind of rides, you know, the ones with multiple arms and it lifts and spins around and the individual cars can spin as well.  This used to be my favorite kind of ride.  Through my early teen years I was terrified of actual coasters so when I went to Kings Dominion (the local amusement park) I stuck with the spinney rides.  And I never had a moment’s problem.

Yesterday, as we were waiting in line for the ride one of the Princess’s friends asked me if I was going to be OK on the ride.  Actually, “you’re not going to get sick like my dad does are you?” was what she asked.  And I thought, certainly not, I love these rides.  And surely, I’m not as old and infirm as your father.

So our turn came and we got in our little car and as we were waiting for the gal who was running the ride to come over and lock our door the little girls were spinning the car,  and spinning the car, and spinning the car.  And it became very obvious that if I rode this ride things were not going to end well.

I gave the girls the choice.  I could ride with them and they could NOT spin the car, or I could get out and watch.

And I have to say that the ride didn’t even really look all that fun.